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You wake up Sunday at 10:50 a.m. to the blaring of your 7:30 a.m. alarm. You were supposed to go on an 8 a.m. hike today, but as a first-year still on the 20 (to your friends’ dismay), all you care about is getting into FoCo in time for that elusive pre-11:00 a.m. breakfast meal swipe.
Luke Cuomo
After consulting my crystals, speaking to the spirits of the universe, using Rauner Library Special Collection’s birth charts, reading tarot cards and using the observatory to look at the stars and planets to chart their astrological movements, I have compiled ~totally real~ horoscopes for the next several weeks.
The air’s getting colder, the sun’s setting earlier and the library’s getting more crowded — it must be ~finals szn~. Even though the beautiful fall leaves are gone and we might not see the sun again until June, at least your study space doesn’t have to be as grim as the weather! After scouring the campus for the best study spots, I’ve collected the definitive guide to the least grim study spots to get you through finals szn and those winter woes.
At some point the freshman plague — that ambiguous sickness that seems to hit right around midterms week and never leave — catches up to everyone. Though it’s not always clear whether people are throwing up on the weekends because of the plague or other undisclosed reasons, we can all unify around the misery the plague causes. But in the event that people were actually crazy enough to think they could avoid the plague, how could they attempt stay healthy? We have some ideas.
As our readers know, Dartbeat is a rigorous and hard-hitting journalism source. As such, we have conducted a totally real and not at all fictional investigation into the most important object at Dartmouth College: Foco cookies. Following are the 100 percent believable discoveries that we made during our investigation.
Struggling to find a way to ask that cutie in your econ class to formal? It’s true that a flitz is flattering to receive. And being asked in person is sweet in an old-fashioned way. But both of those methods are a bit stale. So here are some better ways to ask that special someone to a formal!
Courtesy of Melanie Kos '20
“Doppelgängers” Lily and Lizzie Clark ’20 share an uncanny resemblance. Coupled with their remarkably similar upbringings, their identical looks prove them to be worthy competition for James Detweiler ’18 and Ryan Hunter ’21 as well as Oliver Chartock ’21 and Tony DiPadova ’19. The history for Lizzie and Lily begins the earliest of all.
Recently, our fearless leader College President Phil Hanlon announced that the College would be looking into the feasibility of housing 750 undergraduates in College Park. The general student body reaction was something along the lines of this:
Trips is an undeniably overwhelming experience for incoming Dartmouth students. This summer, '21s encountered countless new people in the span of just five short days. During Trips, some close friendships are formed, especially between trippees. Other relationships, such as those between you and that person you met at the Lodj, involved little more than exchanging names and hometowns. Now, as the term approaches its end, you might be wondering why you met a potential friend on Trips and then literally never saw them again. "It's been almost two months! How have we not crossed paths?" you might be wondering. If you want to find this elusive person, use our flowchart to figure out the best way to track them down.
With finals season fast approaching and Dartmouth students growing more stressed by the minute, it’s important to reflect. What has this term taught you? (How to use negative DBA.) How have you grown? (I’ve learned how to feel guilty about said DBA.)
We are living in a strange and dark age of Dartmouth Dining: constantly changing/unpredictable hours that never seem to be posted (@you, KAF and Food Truck), excessively long lines and unfamiliar menus plague students just trying to survive midterms and come to terms with the fact that week 7 is already halfway over. And as always, the struggle to manage your DBA is #real. For some, DBA is a prized commodity to be hoarded and only shared “if you promise you’ll pay me back….” Others suddenly find themselves with hundreds of dollars of DBA left to somehow blow before the end of the term. If you’re destined never to be in the latter category but hope to keep feeding yourself through week 10, try these six tips for ~finessing~ DBA.
As you walk into Foco and survey the scene, debate whether to give into your cravings for a cookie or go for the healthier options and consider dark side vs. light side, music hums over the speakers. As you chew your food, you might start to think about what they could play besides the typical Top 40 mix. Well, there’s no need to wonder any further. We’ve compiled an alternative Foco playlist with songs to match every mood.
As Halloween nears, you’re probably hit with a wave of panic: it was midterms, you were browsing through courses for winter term or eh, let’s be honest, you just forgot and now you don’t have a costume for the upcoming holiday. But don’t worry, we’ve all been there. To help the busy, the forgetful and the procrastinators, here’s a comprehensive guide to last-minute Halloween costumes for any Dartmouth student!
It’s that time of year again: the end of the six-week ban on first-years in Greek houses. ’21s are running around Webster Avenue only to realize that not all frats are even letting them in yet, but where freshmen do get in, they’re easy to spot among the crowds of seasoned frat stars. A lot changes from freshman to senior year, so here’s a handy guide to spotting the difference between freshmen and seniors in the frats!
Courtesy of user Davidmacaray via reddit.com
1. Start in the Choates.
Wow, it’s already week 7. The term is going by so fast! ... Or maybe not. Week 7 is a very confusing time of the term. At first you may think, “This is it! Homestretch!!” But in reality, these last few weeks are most likely going to inch by slower than you could ever imagine. So, get ready to lose your sanity and any hope of getting a good night’s rest for the next month. If you have witnessed or are experiencing any of these signs, I’m afraid it’s too late for you. Good luck.
Fall at Dartmouth means many things: Barbour jackets galore, overheated classrooms and picturesque nature.
