How to Make Yourself No Longer Welcome in a Fraternity
1) Get caught stealing a composite. 2) Spit on a dog. 3) Make fire jokes in Phi Delt. 4) Urinate on the floor.
1) Get caught stealing a composite. 2) Spit on a dog. 3) Make fire jokes in Phi Delt. 4) Urinate on the floor.
**Not responsible for any broken hearts and rejections They say chivalry is dead. It is.
I dedicate this article to my two roommates of years past, who have bought me Powerade and oyster crackers in times of dire need and have generally tolerated me during days when I have kept our one-room doubles completely dark until 6 p.m. I've had a lot of hangovers in my time. In high school, I was a cocky little shit who thought I was constitutionally immune from the alleged feeling of illness that follows a night of drinking.
How to defend yourself against sharks We're serious, guys. Sharks are everywhere. EVERY.
Welcome to the first edition of the Reboot and Rally Guide to Getting it On. Although the title might seem quite suggestive, remind yourself that you're reading a tech column and then remove your head from the proverbial gutter.
Marguerite Imbert / The Dartmouth Marguerite Imbert / The Dartmouth The first thing that catches my eye when I walk into Cohen 101C the room of Nicole Chiavacci '14 is a Gothic black wrought iron chandelier stuck flat against her wall. "It's a sticker," she says, peeling up an edge as she hops up onto her bed, displacing an overalled old bear in the process.
How to Not Date at Dartmouth Notice this is not entitled: "How NOT to Date at Dartmouth," as that would imply that I actually date at Dartmouth and have all this sage advice to offer.
As the end of term approaches, lines at the dining halls start moving a little slower as people stall to check their DBA balance.
To be honest, I couldn't get up on time to make it to my 9L several times this term. Instead, I would go to the second session at 10.
Last week, someone asked me why my column was so consistently ignorant of The Mirror's weekly theme. "Don't you think it's a little self-involved that you just write whatever you feel like?" Nancy Negativity asked. While I appreciated her honesty and felt she had a valid point, I couldn't help thinking, "Well, guess who sucks?" (Hey Nancy, it's you.) Luckily for me, my vengeance was clear and simple, thanks to the "How-To" theme of this week's issue; I could both show Nancy that I am capable of staying on topic and figuratively slap her soul in the face.
Abandoned on the East Coast (WEST COAST WHATUP) all by my lonesome self, I have no choice but to spend my Thanksgiving break on campus crying in Fahey-Mclane.
Dartmouth is rough on clothing, just in case you weren't aware. Between dirty frat basements, DDS spills, stains from the lab or whatever other else you may encounter, it's possible you'll need to do more than just throw your clothes in a machine.
Difficulty: Challenging I'll admit it. It's fun hearing stories about people embarrassing themselves or saying stupid things.
First of all, let's get one thing straight: eating healthy does not mean that you are healthy. You go to Dartmouth, therefore you are not healthy.
A few weeks ago, I promised my trippees (what up, C782?) that I would cook them all dinner. In my head, I had some pretty extravagant plans perhaps a wild mushroom risotto?
Stop pretending this is exceedingly creepy. We all do it. I've seen you in Collis. The DND is your best friend. Arguably the most important skill to master for any aspiring stalker, the DND aka Dartmouth Name Directory is clearly a sign from the heavens that you should get to know your fellow Dartmouth community members better!
Frustrated by a lack of dating on campus, the 2011 Class Council vice president, Nadine Moezinia '11, and Lauren Bowman '11 decided to set their classmates up on blind dates.
Bio prof: Well it seems like a waste of agave to make sweeteners when you could be making tequila '12 Girl: Oh my god, the only thing keeping me going is that I'm too young to fail. Prof on FSP: I don't give out low grades.
Justin Cozad / The Dartmouth Justin Cozad / The Dartmouth For this issue of The Mirror I assigned the staff writers to create how-to articles on whatever Dartmouth subjects they know best.
1) Make no sudden movements. 2) Say things that make no sense. Claim it was a pun. Laugh loudly for 30 seconds. 3) Every few minutes, ask, "Remember when Michael Jackson died?" 4) If they start to cry, RUN.