The Light at the Edge of the Basement: An AutoBro-ography
My name is Fayston R. A. Townsend. I went to Beerfield Academy, a boarding school in western Massachusetts.
My name is Fayston R. A. Townsend. I went to Beerfield Academy, a boarding school in western Massachusetts.
All backed up and need some relief? Want to drop everything but just can't seem to let go? Quit prairie dogging and soften your load.
Nov. 9, 1:45 a.m.Fahey-McLane residence hallHanover Police took an intoxicated male member of the Class of 2015 into protective custody after an officer found him dropping condoms filled with water from his second-floor window in Fahey Hall onto pedestrians below.
Despite heavy rains on Wednesday evening, the candlelight vigil on the Green held strong. Even with technical difficulties candles + rain = :/ many students sported white tees to show support for the cause.
I've always had a complicated relationship with satire because I'm pretty horrible at taking flak.
We'll start with some snarky grabber (and a comment in parentheses to make said sentence actually snarky). But what's this about a "grabber" why are we even worried about getting you to read our shit in the first place?? This whole thing could be crap but you better believe it won't be and you'd all still read it anywayz because the truth is that when you say you "read The D" you actually only read The Mirror (insert self-call here). There's no way we tried too hard to write that first graf and that's why you heart us.
'13 Girl 1: There's no hope in finding boys. We're junior girls, we're socially irrelevant.'13 Girl 2: Even more than senior girls?'13 Girl 1: Yea, senior girls have that "renewed spirit" thing going on. '13 Girl, spreading icing on a piece of bread in the 1902 Room: It's like cake, but different. '14 Guy: You're wearing jeans to formal?'13 Guy: I'm allowed to because I'm into fashion.
Finals are soon approaching, with anxiety and downright panic soon to follow. I'm definitely not an expert at time management or organization, but after experiencing three finals periods I feel as if I have some valuable advice to bestow on the baby freshmen. Do I need to study hard for my finals?### No, absolutely not.
Bad roommates are surprisingly hard to come by these days. Everyone has his shit together and knows what he wants to do with the rest of his life.
This is the story of fall. When I was little, my parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents tried to teach me about life.
**From: "Freshman" Date: February 28, 2011 12:17:00 PM EDTTo: recipient list suppressedSubject: LOST: BLACK NORTHFACEReply-To: 15folyfe 15folyfe@Dartmouth.EDU**### So so so sorry for spamming everyone's inboxes, but I'm missing a big, puffy black Northface since the TriKap dance party last night.
Yoon Ji Kim / The Dartmouth Staff The Mirror is all real-talked out.
We always think everything bad will happen to other people. We watch our teammates tear ACLs, our friends get Good Sammed and our peers flunk tests, but we swear it could never happen to us. This attitude extends to our sexual proclivities.
Reese Ramponi 17nAuGhTyintheGreatNorth69: ASL? Alphabro63: Come again? 17nAuGhTyintheGreatNorth69: Age / sex / location, brosef.
Cindy Pierce a mother, innkeeper and comic takes a humorous approach toward conversations about hook-ups, one-night stands and the lack of education about pleasure on college campuses.
Did you hook up with anyone last weekend? How was it? Hot? Awful? A mistake? A grenade? Yours or theirs?
'14 Girl answering question in class: Morgan Freeman. And by Morgan Freeman, I mean Nelson Mandela. '15 Guy to Pong Partner: Dude, if we lose this game, I am going to Good Sam you. '12 Girl: I want to use the word "betch" more.'14 Guy: Stop trying to make "betch" happen.
Once upon a time, my floormate's bed sheets roared with bright, floral pizazz. Then they met the Cohen dryer.
Carrie Bradshaw and Meredith Grey both called the men of their dreams embarrassing pet names for over five seasons.
Maybe I'll write a gay sex how-to. It wouldn't actually be much different than the monthly repetitions of Cosmopolitan's starkly heteronormative "how to please a man" articles, other than who is doing the pleasing.