Or have we? Read: Wait. Seriously. Let's be real. But actually. What searing scars on collective campus cultural creation have we not quite come to terms with? (Parenthetical sass misconstrued as an epiphany: Excessive consonance makes everything SO much more meta!)
Just how long does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Does your "Guess Who?" character have a mustache? Glasses? A white, windowless van and candy? Where the fuck is Carmen Sandiego?! (We have a sneaking suspicion she may be in the Golden State, but we just don't know!!)
Questions! Answers? Sorry! We're full of shit but by throwing it back to you we'll pretend to present profound pronouncements!
Satire is, like, super-hard to do well. Just ask our writers. Jonathan Swift, Frannie Mays and the like hats off to you, you impeccably snarky yet subdued satirists! (Alliteration is SUCH a thing.) Satire, parody, blasphemy, hilarity, crappity call this week's issue whatever you like.
Also, bye. It's the end of our tenure as Mirror editors, and although we're sad to go, we're ecstatic to pass our successors along to you.