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Everyone knows that a theme can make or break any social event. Many of our tried and true tails themes have recently begun to lose their luster, so here aresome alternatives to seven of Dartmouth's most worn-out tails themes.
Tennis Balls: Because Princeton is sooo much preppier than us, right?
’17 #1: “Are you doing math?”’17 #2: “No, I’m doing conspiracy theories.”
Dear 9L Professor,
We may have avoided the twenty-six inches that hit the Mid-Atlantic this week, but there’s snow way to avoid the truth that a blizzard in Hanover is inevitable. Blizzards make possible the Dartmouth winter fun we all love to fail at: skiing, snowball fights and trying to identify people behind big furry hoods. But with the news of an impending snowstorm also come 1) panic and 2) a boatload of questions you don’t have the answers to. Luckily, you have Google for that:
I feel very lucky to be a writer for Dartbeat, because it gives me a chance to prove I’ve got my finger on the pulse of current pop culture. That is why I’ve chosen to share with you a lyrical analysis of Smash Mouth’s 1999 hit “All-Star.” While the lyrics are likely burrowed into your subconscious, you probably haven’t realized that, under scrutiny, the song is a cautionary tale about finding meaning in the pursuit of instant gratification.
It’s been an eventful year in the world thus far. I won’t bore you with the details, since I hope you all read the news, but trust me — 2016 has been lit.
Picture this: It is a fine Tuesday evening. You have just returned from a two-hour workout at the gym. You feast your eyes on a delightful quinoa spinach tofu salad from Collis and a steaming cup of antioxidant-packed tea. While snacking on your holistic protein supplement, however, you suddenly realize that you accidentally finished all your homework the night before. The horror! In a tizzy you look around your room: Your laundry is done, your bed is made, your shelves have been de-cluttered. A single tear rolls down your cheek. You feel lost and devoid of purpose.
Sorority recruitment may be over, but the Dartbeat team never stops living young and wild and free. Our hobbies include writing hard-hitting gif lists, blowing snow from our hands and waving playfully from atop staircases.
It was a slow day at Sunrise Buffet in Lebanon. How slow? Only one other table was occupied, and sitting there was a single employee cutting the ends off green beans. I didn't mind, though. The lack of patrons gave me free reign over the buffet. I felt like a king.
As small as the Dartmouth campus is, sometimes we still yearn for some quiet alone time. Campus is crawling with hidden rooms, tucked away study spaces and cozy alcoves perfect for escaping the bustling Hanover street(s?). Whether you're hiding from the weird hookup that won't stop flitzing you or in need of a study session (Week 3 midterms, whaaat?), here are the six best places to hide out on campus:
What is sociopathy? After consulting “the literature,” I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been using the term "sociopath" all wrong. Turns out that kid who bumped into me in the stir-fry line probably isn’t a violent sociopath.
X-hours: Thanks, MLK!
'17: "I don’t understand how at Dartmouth everyone is an intimidating genius except during group projects."
Enfield – A Springfield, N.H., man was driving southbound on Interstate 89 on Friday when he veered off the road, hitting a guardrail and rolling over several times. When police arrived at the scene of the crash, they could not find the driver and authorities suspected he had been ejected from his car or left the scene with someone else. Police later returned to the scene and tracked his footprints to a trail nearly a mile off the travel lane. About 10 hours after his vehicle had crashed, authorities found him lying on the ground, unconscious and suffering from hypothermia. He was taken to Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center and is reportedly in stable condition.
Maybe you heard this tossed out as a "fun" fact when you toured Dartmouth for the first time. Maybe you looked around at all the disgustingly happy couples on campus and figured it out for yourself. Maybe your parents, like mine, are living proof of this terrifying statistic: Roughly 10 percent of Dartmouth graduates go on to marry each other.
’19: "My bed is a haven of cleanliness."
So I grew up in rural Vermont. Like, really rural. There were times (about monthly when it wasn’t winter) when our neighbors’ flock of sheep would stampede up our driveway, take over the front deck and not leave for hours. Once, another neighbor threatened to shoot our dog if he kept eating their chickens (We claimed he hadn’t, but he definitely did — sorry, Mr. Bartlett.)
LEBANON – A Lebanon patrolman pulled over a driver who allegedly crossed the yellow line, nearly hitting a police car on Dartmouth College Highway. The driver stopped the car and fled into the woods, where he was then found by a Lebanon K9 officer.
Well, we’re two weeks into the New Year and I guess the presidential election still hasn’t happened. Is it just me, or should that thing have already happened like twice by now? I swear Hillary’s been chilling in Cedar Rapids for a decade. I’ve been feeling a bern for so long I have half a mind to schedule an appointment with my health care provider. Trump is somehow still #relevant (luckily I don’t have to write a joke for that because it’s already tragically hilarious).
