Opinion
Upon reading the news that Ludwig Plutonium, the famous campus revisionist scientist, has been suspended from Dartmouth's computer network, I came to the conclusion that the College needs to alter its statement on "Freedom of Expression and Dissent" so that everyone in the College community can understand what it really means.
Readers of this paper probably recognize the name, Ludwig Plutonium, from both his classified and full page advertisements.
For years Ludwig has been trying to hammer home his wacky theory that the structure of the plutonium atom is the secret to the structure of the universe.
I suppose I might suggest the same thing if my name were Plutonium.
Others might not recognize the name, but certainly know the man.
He is marked by a distinctive fashion sense which frequently features orange neon,although this summer he has opted for a more earthy green look.
Ludwig, who works for the Hanover Inn, uses his status as a College employee to research his theories in Baker Library.
It seems that he also uses that same status to spread his message over computer bulletin boards.
Ludwig got in trouble with the College when he posted a message on a bulletin board which referred to the New York Times as the "Jew York Times."
Back home the various nuts are content to open their trench coats in front of little girls.