The end of the summer is upon Hanover. I say this because yesterday I witnessed a pair of students, upon exiting class, immediately burn each other for heat.
If there were one thing I could say I've learned recently, it would be that one really has to watch what one says around fish.
This weekend, Upper Valley residents (total: 8) are offered a chance to take part in the fun-filled 3.5 day extravaganza known as "Dartmouth Winter Carnival." In case you haven't heard, Winter Carnival is a festive and highly regarded tradition, named in honor of its founder, "some guy." Rather than going into the history and importance of Winter Carnival, which would involve making a lot of things up, which I could never do in good conscience after twice reporting that "Godzilla" is a food group, here is a run down of what will undoubtedly be this weekend's highlights: THE THEME -- The theme of this year's Carnival is "Lest The Cold Traditions Fail," as selected by the Committee That Selects Annually What Should Lest Fail.
If you think children are decent human beings, then you haven't ridden Amtrak lately. At the end of winter break, in my naivet (literal translation: "ratty clothing that I slept in"), I figured there had to be a way I could travel from New York to White River Junction without: a) Hearing blood-curdling screams. b) Being bitten. c) Being pooped on. So my main objective was, obviously, to avoid children.
If you are the type of person who has been waiting your entire life to see a 300-pound schizophrenic man from Chicago break into the rock music scene, how sad is that? In unrelated news, a 300-pound schizophrenic man from Chicago has -- this is an actual fact -- broken into the rock music scene and let me be the first to say, I have been waiting my whole life for this. Now, some obvious questions arise.
As many of you have undoubtedly noticed, there are a lot of alarming facts in the world lately. Alarming fact number ONE is that, according to my film professor, movies used to not have any sound.
When I was back in the fifth grade my father tried to take up some of my interests so that we could be more "in tune." Unfortunately, we ended up about as in tune as a piano.
The vast differences that exist between the sexes have always been well documented. Unfortunately, most of these documents have been lost, because they have been left under the care of men.
I would like to take this paragraph to publicly announce that I am now officially 100 percent absolutely positively without a doubt strongly considering not ordering quite as much from J.
Last week, at around this exact time (Wednesday), students, faculty and townspeople alike all got to witness a very rare and special event.