The DM Manual of Style
The leaves are falling, the weather is getting colder, and school is back in session. Although the onset of fall may seem bleak, the season does have one saving grace.
The leaves are falling, the weather is getting colder, and school is back in session. Although the onset of fall may seem bleak, the season does have one saving grace.
Dear '12s, I'd like to personally welcome you to the wonderful world of Dartmouth and to college in general.
Ye ignorant, crummy, egotistical, good-for-nothing, lop-eared, chicken-heartened nurslings, lay aside your milk bottle to Read!
By Jilian Gundling T he wide-eyed spawn of the Class of 2012 can be found at every corner: mispronouncing the names of frats as they swarm into basements, smiling with joy as they tell people about their long term life goals, accidentally sitting down at upperclassmen tables and then fleeing amidst eye rolls and exaggerated sighs.
Omigawd hi! How ARE you? How was your summer? Where were you -- wait, New York, right? Or was it DC?
'10 AZD: God, that makes our hook up so much more legit now that he's won Masters. '10 Theta Delt: Man, I wish we could have room to room blow jobs.
Holga Camera + Starter Kit $70.00 In the age of the ubiquitous digital point and shoot, the Holga is a refreshing breath of air with its use of 120mm film.
As sophomore summer winds down, we must look ahead to the beginning of junior year -- where fun goes to die.
So you've only gone to the River three times, and the Copper Mines zero. Where are your fun summer fling(s)? Summer has definitely turned out differently -- much differently -- than many of us thought it would.
To break up or not to break up. This pivotal question haunts many a Dartmouth couple as one or the other (or both) will travel to London on a History FSP this Fall or spend the Winter in New York slaving for Morgan Stanley.
If you ignored my earlier advice to hook up with half of the campus, you may have found yourself with a permanent pong partner (known outside of our bubble as a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" with whom you go on "dates.") As sophomore summer draws to a close and the junior class scatters to our respective Bridgewater-provided abodes or overpriced student hovels, the question of what to do with this person looms large.
However much you would like to deny it, Summer term is coming to a close. Finals are approaching, the weather's cooling down and Beta alums are busy setting up Betavision 2.0.
To everything there is a season, and at Dartmouth it seems that our years as upperclassmen are the season for getting fat and going insane.
'10 Sigma Delt We just got back from [house on Wheelock Street] where we were like sexually assaulted. '08 Psi U: Um, isn't that why girls go there? '10 Guy Taking the Ledyard Challenge: Yeah, after you swim across the Connecticut River you're supposedly allowed to be nude in Vermont. '10 Girl Geography Major: Yeah, how far is Vermont from the Connecticut River? '10 AD on bus returning from Six Flags: My grundel is just so chafed right now, I can't take it anymore '10 AD 2: Yeah man, you just love your Goldbond '10 AD: First thing when I get home... '10 Psi U: Who would actually want to see a penis anyways? '10 KDE: Um...obviously you havent met my house '10 Sigma Delt: Yeah, sure, I'll put your cigarettes in between my boobs and my baby
I thought about getting an off-campus house once. "It'll be like my parents are gone for the weekend...for the whole term!" I imagined.
Finally! The hundreds of hours I spent watching "Design at Nine" and "Trading Spaces" are justified in the form of a column in the Mirror.
It's Saturday morning. Your head is pounding as you try to recall any parts of last night you can " like how you managed to get back to your off-campus house without getting arrested by H-Po?
Squirrels chewing holes in cereal boxes, one-on-one pong tournaments on any and all weeknights, calling the police to get rid of a bat -- do any of these scenarios sound familiar?
Hey, before you sign a year-long lease to the Love Shack, listen up! Sure, off campus housing may seem sweet, but dude, step back.
Ah, the joys of living off-campus. Paying rent once (or twice) a month, having to clean your shower and take out the trash and being forced to make the long trek to FoCo anytime you want a sandwich. No, but seriously, dishwashing aside, living off-campus is great.