A Warm Welcome
I would like to extend my warmest welcome to all of the new members of our Dartmouth community. I say this not just because I want to help make the '04s feel at home in a strange new place, but also because the last time I wrote an article about the freshmen (in this case the '02s on my floor two years ago), they got so bent out of shape that a couple of them still bear a grudge. Now mind you, I was just trying to impart a little upperclass wisdom about how to fit into the Dartmouth community -- "turn down your goddamn music or I am going to come hit you with a baseball bat" was how I phrased it, I think. Shortly after the article ran, a bunch of shmen formed a cute little lynch-shmob and marched down the hall to my door (as my friends who lived across the hall later informed me). They wrote a scathing, and largely correctly punctuated, message on my dry erase board. It began, "Dear Rob Valet Parking," which I thought was pretty funny.