The fact that I've spent the past 24 hours studying for my midterm (meaning, not sleeping) and the fact that I've just turned the big 2-0 (2 O?) makes it a most auspicious time for me to be attempting to write an articulate D column.
Well. Here I am, last in the columnist rotation. For the first time in my Dartmouth career I've read all the Op-Eds of the past two weeks.
You spend time in the Hop Woodshop making canvas stretchers and decide to also make a bookshelf.
You know, with every week that goes by I just can't help but fall more and more in love with Dartmouth.
Well, well. Hello, '05s. It's two o'clock in the morning. I've just gotten back to my room from the painting studio and since, under extreme duress, I've been compelled to write this article, I'm up typing, sitting in front of this damnable Mac instead of sinking into a peaceful oblivion in my (bottom) half of the bunk bed. So this is usually a humor column and this column usually addresses current issues at Dartmouth (in a highly tangential manner) or more often, consists of my trying to fill up a column with 600 words or more (I also use lots of parentheses.
Move in. Carry 12 50-pound boxes up four flights of stairs. Discover that if you take a short break on the second floor, you can make it up to your room without passing out.
Since it's sophomore summer (finally!), I believe I'll cultivate a more intimate tone in my column for my fellow '03s and for those random non-'03s out there.
INTO THE WOODS -- ADDING TO DARTMOUTH TRADITION. I figure since this is my last article for a while before sophomore summer, I'd end the term off with a bang.
It's time to speak of mentoring. No, no! Come back! This is still a humor column and I'm not actually going to present you with an opinion.
Today's column is comprised of a series of unrelated, or at most, tenuously related topics. (By acknowledging the lack of coherence in this article, I render your -- the reader's -- observation that "this article is merely comprised of a series of unrelated, or at most, tenuously related topics" irrelevant, redundant, and downright obnoxious.) Why?