Ask Miss Muffin Top
Dear Miss Muffin Top, What are you doing after Graduation? Everyone F*ck you, who cares?
Dear Miss Muffin Top, What are you doing after Graduation? Everyone F*ck you, who cares?
If I let this opportunity to make a pun about using this story for The MIRROR as an opportunity to REFLECT slip through my fingers I will never forgive myself.
I'm about to give my last few tours of this campus which means that there are precious few opportunities for someone to fulfill my dream and pull off the next Drinking-Time-level prank with my tour group as the unsuspecting audience (June 2nd, 11:15 a.m.
Every person has that one random summer job he or she is constantly trying to forget about. You know what I'm talking about that time when you gave Duck Tours alongside a group of elderly women, cleaned animal feces out of the cages of your city zoo or served as a branch manager for a local McDonald's (Yes Danny, I saw the pictures). In other words, you'd just rather not talk about it.
You are not special. You do not leave a big hole. They dig a hole and put you in it. Those words, spoken impossibly elegantly by Garrison Keillor ushered me into my senior year at Dartmouth.
We sat in the rocking chairs on the Casque and Gauntlet porch waiting for Amita Kulkarni '10. We heard her before we saw her.
So today I experienced a perfect succession of blitzes in my inbox. The first was from my mother, informing me that she wanted to send some of my columns TO MY GRANDMA and inquiring if this week's installment would be "appropriate" to include in the collection.
It has been over six months since Verizon released the Motorola Droid, and that makes it a senior citizen in technology terms (or maybe just a '10). That is probably why Verizon recently announced the new HTC Droid Incredible.
It's always scary to wake up after a formal and not remember how it went. It's natural to assume (pray?) that if you don't remember events that occurred the night before they must not count.
'12 Guy: I'm not trying to be belligerent, but I just am. '13 Girl: Let's turn walking to the River into a drinking game.
As senior Spring draws to an end and formal season begins, I find myself approaching my 13th and final Dartmouth formal unless you want to invite me to a 14th or 15th?! With so many formals, finding a proper date can be quite an adventure.
Thank you to whoever came up with the idea of formals for the formal-less: the unaffiliated and us hapless freshmen.
Spring formals are quickly approaching and that means there is one thing that every girl must find either online or in the depths of her closet: a formal dress.
Drunkest Girls Go to a Formal When asked to write about formals we both looked at each other with the same old Valentine's Day look and desperately searched around the room for gin and a bucket of fried cheese.
Sloppy Joe, Sloppy Jane, Yum Yum, Wimpie whatever you choose to call it, this beefy, gooey creation is about as American as Full House.
Formals are the dumbest and most unnecessary thing at Dartmouth College. Yeah, I said it. Literally the most unnecessary thing.
S -o this issue of The Mirror is going to challenge your most basic assumptions about the world, make you think deep thoughts and oh, who am I kidding?
I like to think that college is a time for us to emotionally mature, intellectually expand our minds and develop new insights.
I'm actually not really one for formals. In my 11 terms in Hanover and eight terms being a member of two Greek houses that host formals, I have only been to four.
With the exception of the time my friend Sally and I accidentally drove a four-wheeler off a cliff in Lake City, Colorado we managed to throw ourselves off and remain mostly unharmed, but the ATV ended up at the bottom of the mountain, crushed like a beer can I have never been more afraid for my life than during the story I am about to tell you. The van was white, a Sprinter van, with the windows blacked by cardboard and duck tape.