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Here @Dartbeat, we’ve noticed that many of our Dartmouth peers (read: you guys) often have hidden, deeper meanings behind what they say —and not always in a good way. In fact, in our time collecting overheards, we’ve come to realize that a number of the phrases you bandy about in your day-to-day interactions lack any semblance of authentic meaning and should instead be interpreted in dramatically unrelated ways. So, in order to help you communicate more effectively, we’ve decided to sit down and compile a handy-dandy lexicon: what Dartmouth students say vs. what Dartmouth students mean. If you think we’ve missed one of campus’s most popular phrases —or if you think we’ve translated any of these incorrectly —let us know by commenting or tweeting @dartbeatblog!
Mad Dog 20/20: Don’t tell me what’s hard and what’s not.
’17: "EBA's is the only favorite on my phone…"
’17: “I just need to look sexy conservative before I go out, you know?”
Courtesy of Christyn Karol / via instagram.com
We’re only a few weeks into the New Year, but at least here @Dartbeat we’ve already given up on our tricky resolutions like “do the reading” and “exercise more.” So, in order to help ourselves and other failing self-improvers, we’ve decided to put together a list of more feasible changes you can make this year to marginally better your life. Everyone has to start somewhere, right?
'16 (singing): "Do you want to build a snowman?" '16 #2: "No, I want to go to a school where it doesn't snow all the time."
Welcome back to 15W! Here at Dartbeat, we're just as thrilled as you are (read: not particularly thrilled) to see snow on the ground. But we do have an exciting announcement about this winter, and we hope you'll find it exciting too.
I must have reached adulthood because this summer my parents began talking about their retirement. “We won’t have to worry about being in a home,” they explained to my siblings and me. “Grace and her cats will just live with us!” Some background: my brother has had some sort of girlfriend for the past two years, my sister the same way since middle school. Me? My family likes to joke about my imaginary boyfriend “Steve.” I am quite literally the seventh wheel any time my family gets together.
No one can dispute that Dartmouth is a little crazy when it comes to traditions — especially those that require any public display of nudity. Seriously, it’s like we come up with traditions (the Ledyard Challenge and Blue Light Challenge, for example) and then throw in a final streaking clause. Let’s face it — we love being naked.
There are few things in this mortal life that I have ever been undoubtedly certain about, but if there’s one thing I know to be true without a shadow of a doubt it’s that 2014 is a wild time to be alive. When I asked the woman who lives in the alley behind CVS for astrological advice, as I often do, she told me it was because Mars ended retrograde and the moons of Jupiter exist. Not only are there women in several of my university classes, but many of them are also unmarried and interested in pursuing careers of their own after graduation. That I can handle. But now I hear talk that men are starting to cook their own dinners and no longer fight to the death before a roaring crowd to prove their masculinity. While the definitions of gender roles may be in a state of flux, we’re lucky that several companies have made it their mission to remind us that some things like chapstick and snack food are anything but a spectrum.
I am a hoarder. I do not hoard old magazines or cats (although that may be on my horizon), but rather links. This article is a shameful admission to how much time I spend on the Internet.
SOS please forward all potential formal dates to firstname.lastname@example.org
Whatever you’re writing about this finals season — whether it’s “the symbolism of the monster as a hyper-feminized figure existing in opposition of the contemporary masculine ideal,” the neural correlates of nose picking or any other dry, academic topic —set it aside. Write about these instead:
From ShaveBennettto Braden Pellowski ’18’sattempt to finance his legal fees from touching the Homecoming bonfire, GoFundMe campaigns have been popping up all over campus. It got me to thinking —what will people try to crowdsource next?
It’s week nine, seniors, and the clocks are ticking. If you’re comforting yourself with the knowledge that you still have “TWO MORE TERMS, STOP” left at dear old Darty, in the same way that I feel obligated to point out when people make grammatical mistakes in essays they’ve already submitted, I feel obligated to notify you that there are a few last chances that you’ve probably already missed.
Have you ever looked around campus and, after seeing the mountains, trees and endless vests, noticed an oddly high number of couples at Dartmouth? Despite the College’s famed hookup culture, I sure see a lot of happy couples around holding hands. This may be due to Dartmouth’s rumored 40-percent marriage rate between graduates — although other sources say it’s only 10 percent. Regardless, that means that between one and four out of every 10 students will marry another Dartmouth grad, and that means lots of them will be proposing to their significant others on our very campus. So here’s a guide to help you find the best place to do so:
On a cold snowy New Hampshire morning back in February, John Pepper ’91 was awake while the rest of campus was still asleep. A drone enthusiast, Pepper maneuvered his DJI Phantom 2 Vision around Baker tower. The sun was rising from behind, hitting the hills into Vermont across the Connecticut River, and Pepper caught a shot of the weather vane at the apex of the bell tower, with Silsby Hall, Russell Sage and the rest of Tuck Drive in the background.
If you attempt to Google “Hanover Christmas Market,” be forewarned that you’ll be directed to an impressive number of pages about a Christmas market in Hannover, Germany, which looks a bit more like this, rather than this familiar scene. But don’t be discouraged! There is still a Christmas market in our town.