15 Last Chances ’15s May Have Already Missed
It’s week nine, seniors, and the clocks are ticking. If you’re comforting yourself with the knowledge that you still have “TWO MORE TERMS, STOP” left at dear old Darty, in the same way that I feel obligated to point out when people make grammatical mistakes in essays they’ve already submitted, I feel obligated to notify you that there are a few last chances that you’ve probably already missed.
1. Experiencing Chicken Baby
I lead with this one because I view it as most important. If you missed chicken baby, the best you can do is read about him on Dartbeat. But like, come on. If you didn’t see this in person, you missed out for sure.
2.Pumpkin spice at KAF
3. Getting on table on a weekend night without freshmen around
The bittersweet freshmen freeze days are over, friends. Errant serves, commence!
4. Watching freshmen rush the field in a haphazard, disorganized and freshmen-y manner
Snaps to the admissions office for picking the '18s, because apparently structure is now a thing. Although it might be more satisfying to see people jumping the fence and running frantically onto the field, outstripping their friends out of pure and primal (unsubstantiated) fear, I have to admit that the block rush had its appeal as well.
5. Safely dropping CS 1/ Ling 1/ Econ 1/ whatever other distrib killer you’re trying to crank out without paralyzing fear that you won’t graduate on time
6. Egregiously filtering the foliage from Gile tower/the Wilder ivy/the trees in front of Dartmouth Hall
We see you, Deets.
7. Creating lewd pumpkin graffiti
You never miss it ’til it’s gone.
8. Meeting your soulmate
Hear me out on this one, I have statistics. Here is where I hit you with the trite “10 percent of Dartmouth grads go on to marry one another” bit. Yes. I did it. Sorry. Go get the ice cream. Or something stronger. I will wait.
9. Easily identifying Psi U/AD/TriKap pledges*
*By something other than the frat smell and vaguely exhausted expressions.
10. Pub trivia/fried pickles/southwest poutine/that mac and cheese with the bacon in it at 3 Guys
This one hit me hard. I’m not even a ’15, and this is a “last chance” that was stolen from me with less warning than a ’14 crush graduating early.
*’Goodbye May Seem Forever’ song from The Fox and the Hound plays *
11. Speaking of mac and cheese… Mac and cheese week at FoCo
It’s pho week now, and who knows if buffalo mac and cheese will return in the winter or spring? Nobody. Nobody knows. Freshman year lulled me into a false expectation that every few weeks there would be wing night, but that dream was cruelly stolen, and I was relegated to lurkingat Late Night Collis. Anything could happen, friends.
12. Hanging out with the Hop spider
Because really, what’s not to miss about turning the corner and seeing this sucker?
(Pictured here on display in a closed space, to combine your worst fears into one giga nightmare. You’re welcome).
13. Taking sailing for PE credit
Sadly, this was a last chance that a lot of ’16s have missed out on as well. If you want the opportunity to capsize into tepid water while realizing that technology has already come up with a method of water transport that is effortless and doesn’t actually involve leaving the boat, you’ll either have to take this FLIP class over sophomore summer or join the crew team.
14. Social cups at FoCo
Or better, the brief stint of “DTF” (down to flirt, of course) cups. This was a prank done by the Jack-O-Lantern, but formal is coming up, and I wonder why this isn’t still a thing.
15. Being able to go out on Halloween on a Friday
The next HalloFriday is in 2025 (what), and if you’re still turning up by then… good for you, tbh. Lest the old traditions fail.