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On March 29, 2013, The Mirror published Maggie and Maddie’s first joint article, “Sharing Like Wildfire.” They were pumped. When they saw the article, however, they barely recognized it. Maddie highlighted the parts of the article that Maddie and Maggie had actually turned in, and all that was yellow were some statistics and direct quotes. To quote the article, “During spring break, the selection of a new Pope was simplified down for worldwide consumption to a succinct #whitesmoke.” Maddie and Maggie were “v” confused. They had absolutely no clue what this meant (was the pope caught smoking??) and had to google it to seem half as witty as the article made them out to be.
During Maddie and Maggie’s freshman year, they quickly formed a little crush on a senior boy. Because of his very distinct (read: beautiful) spectacles, they nicknamed him “Glasses Kid.” He just looked so hip, so studious, so worldly. He probably read Sartre (in French) by day and played classical Spanish music on his guitar by night. He was our real life Jim Sturgess from “21” (2008) — the quintessential Ivy League badass. They hoped that one day he would notice them. He never did.
’Twas the night before Halloween, when all through the dorm
As overeager Mirror writers during their freshman spring, Maddie and Maggie always showed up to the weekly story assignment meetings with several article pitches. Most of these were shut down. Here is an ode to the stories never written.
Sophomore fall, Maddie and Maggie, along with four other women, lived in North Fay 401 a.k.a. the Sextet a.k.a. the Sexytet (worst nickname ever — Maddie REALLY hates this name but was also the one who coined it). One of their roommates — we’ll call her Party Patricia — had quite the little hobby. She loved decorating the room. One night, Maddie and Maggie came home to find a new futon in their common room. What a wonderful surprise! Now they would have a sitting area for guests! Two weeks later, they found the most exquisite 3’ by 5’ painting of a few gentlemen toasting around a table.
During their freshman winter, Maggie and Maddie decided to start an aerobics dance class for all those who lived in the River cluster (how exciting!). They posted sick signs all around the dorms and even on the Class of 2016 Facebook page. The signs read — “Stressed for finals? Still haven’t achieved that hot spring break bod? DON’T FRET!!!! Come to Maddie and Maggie’s aerobics dance class!!!! 5:00 Judge Basement Study Room. IT’S FREE!”
For spring break 2013 (no regrets!!), Maggie visited Maddie and her family in Texas. Wearing shiny cowboy boots and a blue dress, Maggie blended in with the masses of people who werelined up to watch the day’s events. No one would have guessed that she hails from suburban Massachusetts — until she opened her mouth. “Yee-haw and howdy y’all! Let’s ride in pick up trucks and go down dirt roads…. with cows!” she said to nobody as Maddie and Maggie entered the rodeo.
Let us take you back in time. Halloween 2012. French dorm. Maggie frantically tapes streamers to her body to complete the most perfect Halloween costume ever — a piñata. Like, what’s more fun than a piñata? NOTHING! Maddie scours her room for an impromptu sailor hat to complete her sexy sailor costume, but she can’t find anything other than her trusty cowboy hat. It starts to rain and Maggie’s streamers get soggy and start to cling to her body. Rainbow colors seeps onto her white T-shirt. A tragedy is in the works.
In the first weeks of fall term, some students stick out like a sore thumb. They also stick together. Of course, many incoming students are well aware of their status as the freshest faces on campus and the de facto “worst class ever,” but regardless of how hard they try to blend in, freshmen just have a certain look in their eye that shouts “Hi I’m a ’19. Please be my friend.” Just in case they don’t know why they are still standing out, we have compiled a list of 19 ways to spot a freshman.
Thou shalt not commit tripcest. Thou shalt not commit floorcest. Thou shalt not commit Writing 5-cest.
Here at the Mirror we like to write silly articles. We like to write about the campus blue lights, the different kinds of falafel at FoCo and even the dating dynamics on campus. While some of these fun ideas have blossomed into great articles, often stories in need of deeper thought remain on the shelf. Typically, when articles are pitched for the Mirror, the editors offer many different angles for the writers to take. Here is the pitch for today’s article:
Congrats. You've been asked out by someone for a meal — just the two of you. Maybe you're just friends. But we're going to overanalyze this.
I can remember my first time in the 1902 Room. My trippee said it was a cool place to study, so I went with her after my 12. When we sat down, I loudly asked her why the room was so quiet. She shushed me. This was not only my first time in the 1902 Room, but also my first time in a quiet study space. At the moment, I didn’t really get why people wanted to study in silence. It just wasn’t my scene.
To many underclassmen, thesis writing is a complete mystery. Maya Wilcher '16 doesn't understand why anyone would undertake the daunting task of writing a paper that typically spans over eighty pages.
Our generation learned to share in kindergarten, but along the way, the word's meaning was swallowed whole by the digital age and the expectations for our interpersonal interactions came to mean more about generating "likes" than waiting our turn on the playground. In the latest of Facebook's highly publicized design changes, CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced that the social media giant would aim to function as a "personalized newspaper," allowing for theoretically endless information sharing and streamlining content according to personal preferences.