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The Dartmouth
February 22, 2024 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

Editors' Note

As overeager Mirror writers during their freshman spring, Maddie and Maggie always showed up to the weekly story assignment meetings with several article pitches. Most of these were shut down. Here is an ode to the stories never written.

1.BLUE LIGHTS — For this article, we want a writer to do the blue light challenge. Is it possible? What is the best route to take? Also, we want to really explore the nature of blue lights. Why are they blue? When did they first appear? Has there actually been an increase in safety?

2. CJP (Shout out to our girl Mary Liza for pitching this)— If you go into the third stall in the hop bathroom there is graffiti that reads “I love CJP.” WHO IS CJP?!!! We want a thorough investigation. What is the chemical composition of the Sharpie used to write it? Have the janitors tried to get it off? When did it first appear? Do a search in the alumni database for alums with the initials CJP and contact them for interviews. (*Note: we have since discovered who CJP is…)

3. BUGS — What crawls through the grass on the green? Which bugs infiltrate our dorms? This article would be an in depth analysis of all of the insects on campus. Use vivid descriptions. We want this article to make you cringe. We want this article to go viral.

Despite their hundreds of duds, Maddie and Maggie were able to successfully pitch and write some articles — campus unicorns, DDS Dates, the “UGArticle” and many more (Google us). This week, we asked writers to do the same, check out what they came up with. BON APPÉTIT!

—Ol Mads and Lil Mags