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(05/24/16 9:06pm)
When I promised my little sister that I would take her friend Sam out at Dartmouth during my freshman spring, I had no clue what I was getting myself into. As we wandered from Collis towards Webster Avenue, Sam — then a high-school junior — walked with swag, high-fiving and saying hello to everyone that we passed. People probably thought he was drunk, but he was completely sober and just trying to have fun and feel out if Dartmouth was right for him. At a fraternity, he greeted the kid on door-duty with a big “WHAT’S UP” and a full-blown handshake that turned into bro-hug. The door-duty kid shot me a confused look, and I ushered Sam towards the basement. At this point, I was pretty nervous about bringing him downstairs. He knew absolutely nothing about the delicate relationships and social norms that existed at Dartmouth, and so, in my head, he was bound to do something embarrassing. As my schmob of friends and I danced in the dimly lit basement, I saw Sam eyeing the tall blond girl at the bar talking to some of the fraternity members. I instantly recognized her — she was the senior girl on H-Croo that everybody had a crush on. Before I knew it, Sam was walking up to her. I cringed and wanted to leave as I saw him talking to her and all of the older boys. What was he saying? Did he ask if they knew me? (Obviously they didn’t.) He was totally ignorant of any social norm — I was embarrassed for him.
(11/13/15 12:35am)
On March 29, 2013, The Mirror published Maggie and Maddie’s first joint article, “Sharing Like Wildfire.” They were pumped. When they saw the article, however, they barely recognized it. Maddie highlighted the parts of the article that Maddie and Maggie had actually turned in, and all that was yellow were some statistics and direct quotes. To quote the article, “During spring break, the selection of a new Pope was simplified down for worldwide consumption to a succinct #whitesmoke.” Maddie and Maggie were “v” confused. They had absolutely no clue what this meant (was the pope caught smoking??) and had to google it to seem half as witty as the article made them out to be.
(11/05/15 11:57pm)
During Maddie and Maggie’s freshman year, they quickly formed a little crush on a senior boy. Because of his very distinct (read: beautiful) spectacles, they nicknamed him “Glasses Kid.” He just looked so hip, so studious, so worldly. He probably read Sartre (in French) by day and played classical Spanish music on his guitar by night. He was our real life Jim Sturgess from “21” (2008) — the quintessential Ivy League badass. They hoped that one day he would notice them. He never did.
(10/29/15 11:05pm)
’Twas the night before Halloween, when all through the dorm
(10/22/15 10:01pm)
As overeager Mirror writers during their freshman spring, Maddie and Maggie always showed up to the weekly story assignment meetings with several article pitches. Most of these were shut down. Here is an ode to the stories never written.
(10/15/15 11:02pm)
Sophomore fall, Maddie and Maggie, along with four other women, lived in North Fay 401 a.k.a. the Sextet a.k.a. the Sexytet (worst nickname ever — Maddie REALLY hates this name but was also the one who coined it). One of their roommates — we’ll call her Party Patricia — had quite the little hobby. She loved decorating the room. One night, Maddie and Maggie came home to find a new futon in their common room. What a wonderful surprise! Now they would have a sitting area for guests! Two weeks later, they found the most exquisite 3’ by 5’ painting of a few gentlemen toasting around a table.
(10/01/15 10:20pm)
During their freshman winter, Maggie and Maddie decided to start an aerobics dance class for all those who lived in the River cluster (how exciting!). They posted sick signs all around the dorms and even on the Class of 2016 Facebook page. The signs read — “Stressed for finals? Still haven’t achieved that hot spring break bod? DON’T FRET!!!! Come to Maddie and Maggie’s aerobics dance class!!!! 5:00 Judge Basement Study Room. IT’S FREE!”
(09/24/15 10:55pm)
For spring break 2013 (no regrets!!), Maggie visited Maddie and her family in Texas. Wearing shiny cowboy boots and a blue dress, Maggie blended in with the masses of people who werelined up to watch the day’s events. No one would have guessed that she hails from suburban Massachusetts — until she opened her mouth. “Yee-haw and howdy y’all! Let’s ride in pick up trucks and go down dirt roads…. with cows!” she said to nobody as Maddie and Maggie entered the rodeo.
(09/17/15 11:12pm)
Let us take you back in time. Halloween 2012. French dorm. Maggie frantically tapes streamers to her body to complete the most perfect Halloween costume ever — a piñata. Like, what’s more fun than a piñata? NOTHING! Maddie scours her room for an impromptu sailor hat to complete her sexy sailor costume, but she can’t find anything other than her trusty cowboy hat. It starts to rain and Maggie’s streamers get soggy and start to cling to her body. Rainbow colors seeps onto her white T-shirt. A tragedy is in the works.
(09/08/15 11:13pm)
In the first weeks of fall term, some students stick out like a sore thumb. They also stick together. Of course, many incoming students are well aware of their status as the freshest faces on campus and the de facto “worst class ever,” but regardless of how hard they try to blend in, freshmen just have a certain look in their eye that shouts “Hi I’m a ’19. Please be my friend.” Just in case they don’t know why they are still standing out, we have compiled a list of 19 ways to spot a freshman.
(05/28/15 11:24pm)
The coming months herald great things for Mirror readers.
(05/28/15 11:23pm)
What should be on my Dartmouth bucket list?
(05/28/15 11:23pm)
216 — The number of years since the founding of The Dartmouth
(05/22/15 12:11am)
If previous weeks were characterized by a surfeit of communication, Charlie and Maddie’s fourth issue of The Mirror was marked by a startling lack of any intra-Mirror editor discussion at all.
(05/22/15 12:07am)
1988 — The year the first local sorority, Sigma Delta, was founded at Dartmouth
(05/21/15 11:14pm)
How does flitzing work?
(05/07/15 11:02pm)
Scene: Production night for The Mirror. Hanover sleeps.
(05/07/15 10:59pm)
$845 — The price of Canada Goose Citadel fur-trimmed down parka
(05/07/15 10:57pm)
How can I be trendier?
(04/30/15 11:07pm)
If last week Charlie and Maddie were just entering the delicate phase of a partnership, this week saw a gargantuan struggle for the reins of power in the back corner of Robinson Hall.