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Soft-Serve Vanilla with Rainbow Sprinkles:You are #basic. You really only order this particular type of ice cream so you can photograph it for your Instagram. At Starbucks, you’re probably a pumpkin spice latte kind of person, and you regularly order KAF salads for lunch. There’s nothing wrong with preferring to blend in with the crowd. We all do it sometimes, like when we pretend to be studying while eating lunch alone (rather than flaunting the fact that no one responded to our 15 “anyone for lunch @now??” GroupMe messages).
One source of undiscussed stress amongst students on campus is the search for their next free term/post-graduation job. It’s almost a rite of passage to think, “Well, I screwed that opportunity up more than I could've possibly imagined.” I’m writing this personal essay partly to say that, no matter how hard you screw up trying to get a job, you’re not alone. This is the story of my Dartmouth alum idol, Christopher Miller ’97, and the worst fan/cover letter of all time.
’18: “I was pooping in the Walmart bathroom and out of nowhere someone starts trying to open the stall door. And when it doesn’t open, this little boy crawls under the stall door, sees me and crawls back out.”
Streeter Shower:Located on the first floor of Streeter, this shower offers great lighting and a relatively clean atmosphere. With a smell best described as "scent of a room with toilets in it," this shower offers two shower heads across from each other divided by a shower curtain. When I first turned on the water, it was frigid and took roughly a minute to warm up enough for me to immerse myself completely. Fortunately, unlike the showers in the neighboring Gile or Lord, there is a handicap railing in case you pass out from shower-induced hypothermia. Overall, my experience in Streeter was a negative one. I shan’t be walking the quarter mile from where I live to Streeter to take a shower, and I don't recommend anyone else do so either.
Chicago: Feel bad about your dance moves.
So the Greek system isn't for you. Maybe you’re a wee freshman who took one sniff of a sticky, eau-de-stale-Keystone basement and decided you would never set foot in one again. Maybe you’re a bitter senior who is “so over” the scene (or who just got bumped off line by an underclassman). Maybe your pledge new member class is starting to annoy you more than your actual siblings at home ever could. Regardless, you have set your sights away from Webster Avenue and are searching for an alternative social outlet, something to do on Friday nights so you can stop lying to your friends about why you’re not going out ("I’m sick." "The Zika virus finally caught up to me." "I have a really big paper." "I’m dead.")
A ballad from a NARP to their non-NARP significant other to the tune of Adele's "Hello." (Note that I don’t actually have an athlete boyfriend.) (Allow me the delusion, please.)
Winter Carnival is over, and despite the brief subarctic temperatures, a lot of people are still wondering whether or not it actually happened. Without the usual events like Pond Party or the polar bear plunge, some people feel like they missed out on a big weekend. Others are probably still recovering from their hangovers. And with the return of rain, students are already looking to spring -- and the next big weekend, Green Key.
Brown University: This past fall, the ALS Finding a Cure Foundation endowed a team of five faculty members at Brown University with a $1.8 million research grant, The Brown Daily Herald reported. The team plans to research the possibility of aberrant genes as a cure for ALS, suggesting that the gene mutations may potentially defend motor neurons. Depending on its success, the team could receive up to $14 million in the next few years.
Dear Readers: Dartbeatunfortunately had to take down a post published earlier today because it did not go through the appropriate editing channels. Seeing as this blog is about hot messes, for hot messes and written by hot messes, this should come as no surprise. Enjoy the rest of our content!
Submarines, in reality, aren’t very magical at all. They’re dark, depressing places. There’s a reason one of the most highly paid jobs in the Navy is submariner: no one really wants to do it. Still, we romanticize submarines. Run Silent, Run Deep (1958) ; The Hunt for Red October (1990); Das Boot; “Yellow Submarine;” Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea(1870). We even see the submarine’s most violent military applications as an expression of a mysterious world beneath us, an inaccessible deep far removed from anything of mortal conception. Each new giant squid caught on a few frames of film is some great revolution of the extraordinarily untamed depths.
Once we were seated, we scoured the specials menu, where I was delighted to find the Canadian delicacy poutine listed under “Something to Share.” Soon enough, the three of us were shoveling fries topped with gravy and cheese curds into our mouths, loving every minute of it.
Valentine’s Day is weird. It is like every other holiday in that there are things you are supposed to eat (chocolate), supposed to do and supposed to send to people. But V Day doesn't celebrate something that happened in the past, nor is it a religious holiday. Instead it celebrates love, and the worldwide campaign to misinform people about the heart’s actual shape. There are one billion valentines sent every year!
Feb. 5, 10:16 p.m., Russell Sage: Safety and Security officers, Dartmouth Emergency Medical Services and the Hanover Fire Department rendered aid to a student who was found incapacitated from consumption of alcohol. The individual was transported to Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center by ambulance for treatment.
BrownUniversity: The Corporation, Brown University’s highest governing body, recently approved a 4.1 percent hike in tuition, The Brown Daily Herald reported. This brings total undergraduate charges to approximately $64,566. The rise is consistent with the past two years’ tuition hikes of 4.4 and 3.8 percent, respectively. This change coincides with a 7.1 percent increase in the undergraduate financial aid budget.
Now that the New Hampshire primary is officially over, you’re probably thinking the candidates no longer care about us here at Dartmouth. Well, you’re wrong. Candidates would never come to an area just to secure voters and then immediately forget about them once they’ve secured the vote. That would be morally wrong, and we all know politicians are morally upright people. Since these politicians will be back soon, I thought I might give them some ideas for new campaign slogans:
A random hookup is a lot like EBAs pizza – sure, they’re not that hot and you feel kind of gross after, but when you’re drunk they’re fantastic.
Winter Carnival is almost here. Are you ready for kayaking on snow? Pegging professors with snowballs? Well, some of these freshmen are. Watch as one Dartbeat reporter asks freshmen what they're most looking forward to this Carnival:
Despite the fact that there is no snow and that temperatures last week seemed more like late April than early February, Winter Carnival is upon us. And yes, while it is nice being able to walk outside without having the air hurt your face, you're probably still concerned aboutWinter Carnival and how it's even going to be a thing in this ridiculous weather. Luckily, you have Google for that: