A previous Freak of the Week column put forward the knight-or-gnome dichotomy, in which everyone falls into one of the two camps as a person. There is no concrete definition for either category — and it’s apparently purely intuitive.
In the second installment of the knight-or-gnome quizzes, The Dartmouth Mirror editors help you discover which you are, based on V-Day preferences.
Instructions: pull out a pen and paper. Make a column for “A” answers and “B” answers. For each answer, put a tally in the corresponding column of your answer. At the end, we will tell you how to determine the results.
1. What is your relationship status?
a. Looking
b. Dating
2. What are you drinking on your date night?
a. Six espresso martinis
b. Two glasses of red wine
3. How are you getting to your dinner date?
a. Piggy back ride from my tall friend
b. My classy lamborghini
4. What are you wearing to dinner?
a. My cherished hat
b. A classy dress
5. What are you eating at dinner?
a. Spaghetti, “Lady and the Tramp” style
b. Oysters
6. Where is your ideal Valentine’s Day Date?
a. A tasteful cave
b. A high-class, fine-dining corporate establishment
7. What kind of flowers are you getting?
a. The weeds outside my cave
b. Roses
8. What type of candy are you giving your boo?
a. The box of chocolates I sat on in the car
b. Heart-shaped gummies
9. What does your candy heart say?
a. “I left the candy hearts at my cave”
b. “Be Mine”
10. Which Upper Valley restaurant are you going to?
a. Han Fusion
b. Pine
11. What is your dessert?
a. Chili’s lava cake
b. Chocolate-covered strawberries
12. What are you watching?
a. “Love is Blind”
b. “When Harry Met Sally”
13. What are you getting for your boo?
a. The key to my cave
b. Diamonds
14. How are you ending the night?
a. Love making
b. A tasteful massage
15. What is your breakfast the morning after?
a. Pickles from The Works
b. Pastries from King Arthur Flour
Answer: if you answered with more As, you are a gnome. If you answered with more Bs, you are a knight. Congratulations.
