Opinion
There is a traitor among us, dear friends. Something watches passively from a shadow where the wall meets the ceiling and slithers its way into our bedrooms, our stomachs, our minds, and our Visa statements (I don't think it takes American Express). It buys property and forces us to eat DDS, all the while supplementing our meager (besides the Cordon Bleu) but costly (cranberry juice has gone up thirty cents since I was a freshman) Hop rations with intermittent Steak Bombs, Original Bricks, Egg and Cheese Subs, ramen noodles, Easy Cheese, and other less healthy dining experiments.