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The Dartmouth
July 15, 2025 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

Mini-Golf on Mass Row?

We've all just been handed an incredible opportunity to effect positive change on campus -- and with it, an (almost) blank check. For everyone who has been wondering how you can leave a mark on this campus, here's your chance. Palaeopitus, a group of seniors whose role is to advise the Dean of the College and the President, decided in our meeting this Wednesday night to start taking advantage of this opportunity -- to take that step away from reality to the world of our imaginations, and embark on a hypothetical shopping spree. We thought about the five principles in the Trustees' report, but most of all we thought about ways to make this campus more people friendly and engaging. We considered how it could reflect not only our differences in skin color and gender, but also our varying interests, talents, and habits in a way that is safe and accessible to the whole community. It's probably a good thing that "tens of millions of dollars" have been pledged, because some of the visions bordered on Disney North...

Imagine a campus similar to ours, with more facilities on the north side, another dining hall, and a huge library in the center of campus. Collis Center is much like it is, although the basement includes a new bowling alley, the pool room, and a movie theater. (If you don't like it there, choose another location that's more suitable). You are walking across the green with 15 minutes to spare because you were supposed to meet your professor and a few friends from class at the new cafe (or bar, take your pick). You run into a friend who is late to a meeting -- today he or she is helping to design the garden courtyard between two dorms. Your mind wanders, as you look over at the new "towers" residence hall. "What it would be like to live over there? The art studio and weight room over there are supposed to be the best on campus." You wonder to yourself, would I give up having the dark room and a kitchen of my own for a weight room? Maybe next year...

OK, so maybe that's not your image of Dartmouth. How is your vision different? How can we use space differently, or add to the existing architecture to make Hanover feel more like your home. Could we add common spaces to residence halls, maybe a lounge on each floor? How about giving each cluster a unique recreational activity, racquetball, a bowling alley, video games, lots of cable channels, basketball courts. What new looks and shapes could buildings take on? Mini-golf in Mass Row? Would that enhance your social life and affect your social options? How could campus change so that your ideal date could actually take place on campus? What would help us move from random hook-ups to an actual dating scene? What can we do to attract students from a greater variety of places with broad spectrums of experiences? If anyone has an idea of how to answer these questions, please step up -- let us know, let SA know, let the Task Force know. Let the student body know.

You may not agree with these ideas or think they will have an impact on Dartmouth's social life. For those of you that have a sneaking suspicion that mini-golf will not replace frat parties (if, in the end, Greek houses are closed down), it is especially important to think about a social configuration that will. If students don't seriously consider what their ideal Dart-mouth will be, a bowling alley may be the best the school can offer. The ideas that are expressed in the next few months are the ones that the Trustees will listen to and incorporate in their plans ... The point is, the debate needs to move beyond the future of the Greek system to one that encompasses all five aspects of the Trustee's proposal and works to bring the campus together rather than to split it into binary opposition. This is our chance to free ourselves from the constraints of what exists at Dartmouth now and create a vision of anything that we want. Let's not pass up that opportunity for ourselves.

Let's capitalize on it for our children and the generation of Dartmouth sons and daughter that will come after us.