When I first read about the Trustees' apocryphal announcement of the five principles and their implications for the Greek system "as we know it," I was as cynical and defensive as many of my peers. Particularly, I scoffed at President Wright's statement that the revision of social and residential life was a move to improve gender relations -- it sounded a lot more like public relations to me. Thanks for the thought, but no thanks.
The Trustees' seemingly rash decision devoid of student input hurt me deeply. My sorority has been among the best things to happen to me in these last three years, providing a refuge of security and support, introducing me to female role models both younger and older than myself, and presenting amazing opportunities for leadership and for personal growth. The thought of future Dartmouth women missing out on the opportunities I have had leaves me saddened indeed.
However -- does loyalty to my own beloved institution on Webster Ave (no longer frat row) prevent me from even considering whether the Greek system has a negative impact on gender relations? If that were true, what a real waste this liberal arts education that I've practically completed would be. I think some soul-searching is in order for many of us in the coming months. Is this the Dartmouth we want? How could it be better?
First, what exactly are "gender relations" -- buzzwords now as familiar, and dare I say, trite, as everyone's favorite, "community?" By gender relations, many people mean what happens behind closed doors -- when gender relations go awry. Sexual abuse, once Dartmouth's dirty little secret (or one of them anyhow), thankfully gets a lot of attention here today, much of it from the CFS system itself.
For now I'd like to examine, however, gender relations in the most literal sense of the phrase. At first it seems like things aren't so bad. I look around and, despite the common complaint that "No one dates at Dartmouth," it seems that there are couples everywhere. Plenty of my friends have had real relationships here, and not just the Saturday night kind. Guys and girls are friends, and not just the freshmen; they eat together at food court and sit together in class; they take advantage of the Collis Miniversity; they hang out on weekends.
The question is -- are gender relations on this campus "normal?" If not, is the Greek system at fault? And most importantly, no matter what or whom you blame -- could things be better?
I know I am not alone in recalling that freshman fall, one of the things I relished most about college was how the dorms are largely -- don't tell my dad -- coed by room. Boys next door? Boys across the hall? College is fun! The casual "coeducation" of dorms seemed the epiphany of post-high school independence.
And yet, the first thing almost half of us do a year later is rush single-sex houses and, many of us, spend the rest of our time here in single-sex residential arrangements. Even many of us who choose not to live in our Greek houses self-segregate ourselves in off-campus houses, tight-knit groups of senior girls or senior guys. Why is that? Because guys are too dirty and girls are too fussy? Because we don't want to share a bathroom in the morning and we just can't agree on decor? Because we have no close friends of the opposite sex by senior year? I know that's not true.
I agree that guys and girls are "different." We face different challenges and have different needs, including a very real need and desire to spend time with members of our own sex, without the "pressures" of the opposite sex. I didn't need to join a sorority to show me that. But as Dartmouth students we also have an abundance in common, and I refuse to believe that the sexes are so irreconcilably different that individual men and women can't form as close and meaningful relationships as our single-sex friendships. This is especially true at this of all ages: we've survived the awkwardness of adolescence (most of us), but are not yet scouring the basements for marriage prospects (again, most of us). Sure, relationships between men and women may be "different," but every relationship between two people, regardless of gender, is unique.
Besides living arrangements, a point which perhaps I belabor too much, I know many men and women here are dissatisfied with the unbalanced role that the sexes play in their lives. This brings me back to the issue at hand. If there are inadequacies in gender relations here, is it the fault of the Greek system? Do frat guys hate girls? Are women in sororities anti-men? Can't we all just get along?
There is no doubt in my mind that there was a time that fraternities were a major impediment to healthy gender relations. I'm told that fraternities posed the most fervent resistance to coeducation in its early days -- the last refuge from women's influence on a rapidly changing campus. There is also no doubt in my mind that we've come a long way. Greek houses today are far more sophisticated than clubhouses with "No boys/girls allowed" signs on the door. Dartmouth students know the difference between joining a house to meet and be with men, and joining a house to get away from women, and vice versa.
Which is why I say: please don't scrap it all. The CFS system in recent terms has made concerted efforts towards improving gender relations, both in the basic sense of the term and in preventing and responding to sexual abuse. Those efforts will no doubt continue. As all of us work to create proposals that we are excited about and which the Trustees will find acceptable (and worthy of Dartmouth's millions), let's think, at least part of the time, in those terms: how can we create more opportunities for men and women to form meaningful relationships? In responding to the challenge we have been given, I can tell you that I will continue to seek to improve the Greek system that has been my home for almost three years -- and also to learn from its failures.
