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Unlocking the Secrets of “Space Jam”

(04/14/16 12:05pm)

One of the most bizarre chapters of “Looney Tunes,” basketball and cinema history was the release of the 1996 film “Space Jam,” starring Michael Jordan, Bugs Bunny and you know the rest (otherwise you wouldn’t have clicked on the link). One of the most underrated aspects of the film is its corresponding soundtrack, which features such hits as R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly” and Steve Miller’s “Fly Like an Eagle.” But by far, the crown jewel of the “Space Jam” soundtrack is the eponymous “Space Jam” by the Quad City DJ’s. It’s a perfect representation of the film, in that you feel warm feelings of nostalgia listening to it, but when you remove that nostalgia, you realize just how truly odd it is.

Social Climbing with Winston the Pig

(04/12/16 2:46pm)

Behind the black coat and adorable snout of Winston McKenzie--Phi Delta Alpha's house pig--is a social mastermind. With 243 Facebook friends and counting, Winston teaches us that despite any biological differences, we’re actually a lot alike. Every photo he posts contains a lesson to be learned. Dartbeat has compiled those lessons here for you (but be sure to send Winston a friend request so that you can continue receiving all the sage wisdom he has to offer):

Dear Lone Pining

(04/12/16 1:37pm)

Life at Dartmouth can be hard, what with the harsh winters, D plan and limited social scene working against you. “Dear Lone Pining,” Dartbeat’s premier student advice column, is here to help! Anonymously submit your questionshere and our lifestyle expert, Lone Pining, will help tackle your problems. Here’s what Lone Pining had to say this week:

Most Awkward Dartmouth Situations and How to Handle Them

(04/12/16 12:35pm)

I am an awkward person. I came out of the womb that way, and frankly, I see no signs of improvement. The fact that I just used the word “womb” is in itself pretty awkward. You might be thinking, “Everyone says they are awkward.” You are right, except that unlike most people, I never really grew out of that middle school phase where true, unadulterated awkwardness makes its home. And given my lifelong knowledge of dealing with mortifying situations, I am now willing to pass on to you some sage advice.

8 Ways to Mask the Atrocity that is the New Hood Museum Design

(04/11/16 1:01pm)

With the slew of new campus policies over the past few years, it comes as no surprise to Dartmouth students that the administration is looking to ~move Dartmouth forward~. Whether that means redefining the Greek system, banning the consumption of hard alcohol or (God forbid) prohibiting the use of hoverboards, the administration’s decisions are almost always met with backlash from Dartbeat the student body.

Reverse Culture Shock

(04/01/16 4:48pm)

Do you feel misunderstood, bored or constantly in the company of people who don’t care about your “One time we were in Trafalgar Square and...” stories? If so, you’re experiencing symptoms of a disconcerting affliction: Reverse Culture Shock (RCS). RCS is quite common on college campuses, and it’s especially prevalent among Dartmouth students returning from study abroad terms. If you experiencezero or more of the following four symptoms, youprobably suffer from this troubling condition:

Dartbeat Investigates: Suspicious Campus Stains and Liquids

(04/01/16 10:55am)

Colleges are notoriously dirty places (in two senses, though in this post I’m really only concerned with the literal dirtiness of Dartmouth). I guess you could say that my fascination with this institution’s stains began in my freshman dorm room. Walking into my luxurious McLaughlin single, I couldn’t help but notice the gigantic red stain on the carpet splayed between my desk and the door. My mind went a million different directions on that one (not really, I just kind of like to think that the College tried to cover up a homicide in my room, but it was probably just a bleach stain). Since then, scoping out stains around campus and speculating about their origins has become a sort of “hobby” of mine.