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(09/20/00 9:00am)
River Cluster, oh how I adore thee! Never in my wildest and wettest dreams did I think I would ever fall in love with the desolate land known as the River Cluster. During my Pre-Freshman Summer I made it my responsibility to pay my tithe at church, take confession, and recite the Virgin Mary every night so that I, Guensley Delva, would not land in The River Cluster. And in the twinkling of an eye, or rather the speed of an e-mail, my roommate writes: "Congratulations, you now live at the River, PREPARE TO DIE (with Sinister laughter in the background)." OK, so I exaggerated on the sinister laughter bit. Now correct me if I am wrong, but there are even rumors that Steven Spielberg wants to film a horror movie at the Hinman Lounge! Gasp, talk about sheer horror. But after going three days without running water while on my DOC trip (shout out to Trip Section F 62) I learned to treat the River Cluster as if it was the beloved East Wheelock Part Deux!
(09/20/00 9:00am)
By now, you should be acquainted with the three major campus cafeterias -- Collis, the Hop and Food Court. (The lesser, or more specialized eateries, such as Lone Pine and Homeplate are rendered irrelevant by their limited hours and distinct clientele of destitute connoisseur and herbivorous waif, respectively.) The intention of this pointless spiel is to further familiarize you with the social climate of each establishment and to ultimately assert the culinary supremacy of Food Court.
(09/20/00 9:00am)
I'm telling you, folks, this is big. For most of us this will be the first time we're actually able to vote in a presidential election. This is democracy at its best; this is when we get to make our voices heard by declaring who we want to represent our opinions in office. Now, the way I see it, there is only one logical choice for those of us blessed with American citizenship -- vote for no one.
(09/20/00 9:00am)
With the 2000 Olympics now underway in Sydney, and with every single American eagerly awaiting the most intense weeks of the presidential campaign, it seems appropriate to challenge both major presidential candidates Al Gore and George W. Bush to a presidential version of the Olympics. By testing the vice president and the governor of Texas with contests of skill, strength, and endurance, the American people will have several new criteria on which to base their selection for president. And since voters are especially ignorant about this year's election, such a contest would help both candidates send their respective messages and ideas to the fat and lazy Americans who sit in front of the TV and watch fit and active Americans as they strive for gold medals. Therefore, I propose introducing a few presidential events into this year's Games. Each event would, in theory, show the American people what each candidate is capable of accomplishing as campaigner and later as president.
(09/20/00 9:00am)
Contrary to popular belief, the winner of the 2000 election will not be the man who raised the most money, or ran the most ads, or had the best spin control. The deciding issue will not be education, health care or taxes. And the swing vote will not be soccer moms, angry white men or independents. The single determining factor of the election will be the price of gas on Nov. 6, 2000. If it is significantly higher than it is now, Governor George W. Bush could win regardless of what the polls say the week before.
(09/20/00 9:00am)
Speaking to a crowd of students, professors and Dartmouth community members yesterday afternoon, visiting lecturer Michael Bronski contended that the experiences of popular fictional character Harry Potter may be understood as an allegory for the coming out of a homosexual individual.
(09/20/00 9:00am)
Twenty students from the Class of 2001 received the honor of being inducted into Dartmouth's Palaeopitus society last June.
(09/20/00 9:00am)
Making her public debut as the Acting Director of the Rockefeller Center, Lynn Mather spoke to politically-oriented freshmen and others about the November election's impact on the judicial system.
(09/20/00 9:00am)
After surviving one last term as the favorite summer pastime of countless students, the famed rope swing on Mink Brook Trail is coming down.
(09/20/00 9:00am)
In addition to experimenting with freshman-only housing for the first time in two River Cluster dorms and various floors in residence halls, the College has also designated those River dorms substance-free after a record number applied for the option.
(09/20/00 9:00am)
Both the Panhellenic and Interfraternity Councils expect the rush process to successfully match a vast majority of -- if not all -- participants to Greek houses.
(09/20/00 9:00am)
Students viewing the inside of the newly constructed Berry Library after tours yesterday responded with mostly negative comments, many describing the interior as cold and impersonal.
(09/20/00 9:00am)
Dartmouth's 231st academic year began yesterday with the themes of diversity and community taking center stage at the Convocation ceremonies held in Leede Arena.
(09/19/00 9:00am)
A little jealousy can go a long way. In this case, I became green last Thursday when an 18-year-old college student made his way to the hotseat on that show of shows, "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire." Rapidly feeling my next birthday approaching, that toll-free qualification number popped into my head, teasing me -- "If only you had tried a little harder."
(09/19/00 9:00am)
The Dartmouth women's volleyball team won its third straight match Sunday over Brown to take home the University of Maine Invitational championship. Jen Madsen '02 was named tournament MVP after collecting 13 kills and 13 digs.
(09/19/00 9:00am)
While most Dartmouth students were getting ready to come back to campus, the Dartmouth field hockey team began its 2000 season with a bang. Led by new Head Coach Amy Fowler, the Big Green earned a stellar 4-0 record.
(09/19/00 9:00am)
Although Dartmouth laid out the welcome mat for its opponents at the Kappa/Hypertherm Men's Soccer Classic last weekend, Stanford and Boston University did not return the favor. Dartmouth dropped both games, falling to BU 3-0 on Saturday, and to tournament winner Stanford 6-0 Sunday.
(09/19/00 9:00am)
The Dartmouth women's soccer team began the season with wins in two of its first three matches. After a season-opening victory over the University of New Hampshire on Sept. 10, the team bounced back from a loss to Nebraska on Sept. 15 with a 9-1 thrashing of Central Connecticut last Sunday.
(09/19/00 9:00am)
When the Dartmouth football team met Colgate last Sept. 25, the young Big Green offense floundered while the veteran defense held tough in a 35-3 loss. On Saturday, the team's youthful defense gave up several big plays while the now-experienced offense played effectively against the Red Raiders.
(09/19/00 9:00am)
I would like to extend my warmest welcome to all of the new members of our Dartmouth community. I say this not just because I want to help make the '04s feel at home in a strange new place, but also because the last time I wrote an article about the freshmen (in this case the '02s on my floor two years ago), they got so bent out of shape that a couple of them still bear a grudge.