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(05/18/07 6:10am)
Green Key is not known for its tradition of culinary fare. It's not particularly known for much, actually, apart from drinking. Homecoming has a fire and football; Winter Carnival has skiing and snow; Tubestock had tubes and the chance of death; Green Key has beer and nice weather, but really only sometimes. But as I look back over my three Green Keys I can still, shockingly, remember the food that marked some poignant parts of the weekends. It's an apt way to relive and rehash my years at Dartmouth and end my ever-so -illustrious career as a fairly inconsequential Mirror food columnist who isn't even allowed to write about restaurants and is largely read by my parents. Hi Momma. Hi Daddy.
(05/04/07 6:33am)
It's been almost four years at Dartmouth for me now. Four years of rotating between the same few restaurants. Four years of trying to make a Collis salad just a little more interesting. Four years of wondering why Topside stocks itself with things like Vienna Sausages, canned mushrooms and, come to think of it, everything the world thought to can, ever. But I've finally found it. I've finally found the meal that Topside exists to provide for: huevos rancheros.
(04/20/07 5:01pm)
Ah munchies, that urgent hunger that must be fulfilled, that need for anything edible, as long as it's not a salad and preferably is covered in cheese. They don't have to be inspired by a certain smokeable plant, they can also be inspired by good old fashioned drunkenness. Either way, they're a college reality and they need to be dealt with. So how should you go about it? Let's look at a few scenarios.
(04/06/07 9:00am)
I'll start this article with a campus food tidbit. I had a biscuit this morning from FoCo. It was supposed to be eaten with a slop-like combination of chicken and what was simply referred to as "sauce" on the description of ingredients. I decided to forgo the slop and eat the biscuit on its own. It was good. It was okay. It was no KFC biscuit nor was it even as good as the ones from the can that my mom makes. But it satisfied to a point. That point was when the roof of my mouth was suddenly coated in an uncomfortable film. I had to throw it away. What a waste of empty calories. And that's all I have to say about that.
(02/23/07 11:00am)
It's starting to get to that time of the term: the time when DBA is starting to drop and students are starting to get desperate to cut corners. So I've devised a few little ways to eat for free at Dartmouth. Listen closely seniors: this time next term, when going negative is just not an option and you've burned through that giant signing bonus already, you're going to need this. I know this issue is centered on nutrition and some of these meal ideas may not seem like the most nutritious but riddle me this: what's healthier, eating or not eating? Eating. Eating is more nutritious, no matter what that supermodel/ballerina/native Los Angeles resident tells you.
(02/02/07 11:00am)
On this campus there are few things we have a lot of: snow, people willing to rally against pretty much anything and Keystone. The only edible thing you can make with snow is that maple candy stuff that they make in Little House on the Prairie, and the law prevents me from making anything with protestors. So Keystone it is. I found some recipes on the Internet calling for beer as an ingredient: sausages braised in beer with apples and onions, beer nachos, beer and beef stew and pomegranate beer tails. Because we are in Hanover and I have pledged to only cook with DBA-attainable food, the recipes had to be altered. It was a terrifying experience, and I did it all for you, dear readers.
(01/19/07 11:00am)
If you're going to get kicked out of school, why not do it the classy way? With only a trip to Topside, Collis and a few bottles of Andre, you can come up with the recipe for a highly illegal cocktail party. I tried it out this past weekend the legal way, though, for well, legal purposes. But I'll let you in on the little extras that can push your party into the Parkhurst zone.
(11/10/06 11:00am)
Momma, Daddy, I'm dropping out of Dartmouth. I've gotten all I can out of this institution. I'm going to go out in the world to learn magic. Yes family, I will be the greatest magician ever. Ever. Why this sudden change of heart? I saw a movie. An absolutely true movie and David Bowie was in it so how could it not be real? It was "The Prestige." Now I'm not going to lie and say that this was the best movie ever because it wasn't. It was confusing and weird and I'm still not exactly sure what I watched and I'm not sure I would know even if I watched it three more times. But, I do know that magic is awesome and, apparently, it used to rule the world.
(10/27/06 9:00am)
Hey men, remember when you were young and you would swim at the bottom of your pool with your feet tied together with one of those rings you would dive for? Remember when you would burst from the pool onto the stairs and flip your hair back with passion, jutting your budding breasts out? No? Well every girl you've ever known does (and maybe some of you have and just aren't owning up to it ... come on, you tried it once. It felt good. That's OK, children are meant to experiment).
(10/06/06 9:00am)
For this week's meal, I'm going to stretch the definition of dinner back to the days of yore when it really meant the afternoon repast. I enjoy a good repast and sometimes one of Dartmouth's fine eateries just doesn't cut it; there are only so many salad combinations I can make at Collis and I have heard Chicken Mondays are no more (to all the men I know, I am deeply sorry for your loss).
(09/22/06 9:00am)
Summer movies seem taboo to me. I guess it's because we're all supposed to be out running through sprinklers or having picnics or playing lawn games while friends punt down the stream in white suits and flat straw hats. Or no, maybe I'm mistaking summer with the 1920s. It seems wrong to sit in the dark with strangers eating plastic cheese off overly salted chips when nature is beckoning you to play in its glory.
(05/26/06 9:00am)
Those crazy Catholics and their secrets, murder and self-flagellation. I went to a Catholic boarding school for four years and, let me tell you, this movie just brought back all of my favorite memories. I remember when those monks invaded and murdered one of the nuns. I remember when I proposed that perhaps there was a forgotten gospel and was promptly excommunicated from the school and shot through the palm (for irony's sake, because, if anyone has a sense of humor, it's the Catholic Church).
(05/12/06 9:00am)
I've spent the day expecting that, at any moment, the car driving by me will explode. I've been amazed at the lack of long, dramatic jumps I've had to make (only three so far) and nobody has responded to my code conversations. What the hell. Why may you ask (didn't you read the title of this article)?
(05/05/06 9:00am)
I was asked to write this at the last minute, so rather than write a well thought-out, actually meaningful or at least coherent article, I am going to take you through my day: my day with a hangover.
(04/28/06 9:00am)
Art, life, passion, 1980s teen movies. Formula: lonely guy wants to get laid, we know he really wants to get loved, guy finds love, insanity occurs so that he can't get love (ex. he has to win the ski race, he has to win the boat race, he has to overcome her crippling poverty and totally hip nature).