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Younger admissions officer to older admissions officer: “How do you even read 20,000 applications? I don’t know how you’d even do that!”
New gym scan-in: It's the little things in life.
Behind the black coat and adorable snout of Winston McKenzie--Phi Delta Alpha's house pig--is a social mastermind. With 243 Facebook friends and counting, Winston teaches us that despite any biological differences, we’re actually a lot alike. Every photo he posts contains a lesson to be learned. Dartbeat has compiled those lessons here for you (but be sure to send Winston a friend request so that you can continue receiving all the sage wisdom he has to offer):
Life at Dartmouth can be hard, what with the harsh winters, D plan and limited social scene working against you. “Dear Lone Pining,” Dartbeat’s premier student advice column, is here to help! Anonymously submit your questionshere and our lifestyle expert, Lone Pining, will help tackle your problems. Here’s what Lone Pining had to say this week:
I am an awkward person. I came out of the womb that way, and frankly, I see no signs of improvement. The fact that I just used the word “womb” is in itself pretty awkward. You might be thinking, “Everyone says they are awkward.” You are right, except that unlike most people, I never really grew out of that middle school phase where true, unadulterated awkwardness makes its home. And given my lifelong knowledge of dealing with mortifying situations, I am now willing to pass on to you some sage advice.
With the slew of new campus policies over the past few years, it comes as no surprise to Dartmouth students that the administration is looking to ~move Dartmouth forward~. Whether that means redefining the Greek system, banning the consumption of hard alcohol or (God forbid) prohibiting the use of hoverboards, the administration’s decisions are almost always met with backlash from Dartbeat the student body.
You: “Well, I think I’ll be majoring in philosophy, with a minor in English or history. I’m still not really sure…”
’18 to T.J.Maxx employee: “Do you have a crop top section?”
Layering: How are you to brave light-speed winds and SNOW IN APRIL with only the jean jacket you brought back from spring break? #regret
“Mama, I made it!”
Dartbeat asks a group of musically inclined students to recommend their favorite song picks of the week. We then share a few of those tracks. Enjoy!
Last week, 2,176 lucky newbies were granted access to our august institution. If you’re one of those 2,000+ admittees, props to you for already being on Dartbeat (I’m impressed!), and for really beating the odds. With 20,765 applications, Dartmouth’s acceptance rate this year was 10.5%.
Do you feel misunderstood, bored or constantly in the company of people who don’t care about your “One time we were in Trafalgar Square and...” stories? If so, you’re experiencing symptoms of a disconcerting affliction: Reverse Culture Shock (RCS). RCS is quite common on college campuses, and it’s especially prevalent among Dartmouth students returning from study abroad terms. If you experiencezero or more of the following four symptoms, youprobably suffer from this troubling condition:
Colleges are notoriously dirty places (in two senses, though in this post I’m really only concerned with the literal dirtiness of Dartmouth). I guess you could say that my fascination with this institution’s stains began in my freshman dorm room. Walking into my luxurious McLaughlin single, I couldn’t help but notice the gigantic red stain on the carpet splayed between my desk and the door. My mind went a million different directions on that one (not really, I just kind of like to think that the College tried to cover up a homicide in my room, but it was probably just a bleach stain). Since then, scoping out stains around campus and speculating about their origins has become a sort of “hobby” of mine.
Donald Trump has come to Dartmouth. He has come, and he will #MakeDartmouthGreatAgain. Dartbeat gained exclusive access to his Dartmouth-specific Twitter account, and you bet your ass we took screenshots:
It’s week 1 and you have new textbooks, fresh syllabi and (hopefully) minimal laundry. After two weeks of relaxation (read: simultaneously watching Netflix and Snapchats of your friends’ exotic vacations), you’re ready for spring term. And so far, so good! One week down, and you can barely remember what it’s like to be stressed.
'17:"Can you like borrow a baby? I just want to borrow one for an hour and then return it."
Monday night: As Horace once wrote, "carpe ragem." You only have one week until the work piles up, make the most of your social freedom while you still can.