When I think of Officer David P. Hunt, I think of a mix between Rambo, Lance Armstrong and Denzel Washington: a supreme Alpha Male with charisma like none other, all while riding a bicycle.
Rembert: Officer Hunt, how are you?
Officer Hunt: You know, I prefer to be called Officer Dave. Or just Dave. Officer Hunt -- way too formal. It's not me.
R: So how long have you been doing what you do?
Officer Dave: I've been in law enforcement for over twenty years now. I went from the military as a criminal investigator to an officer in Plainfield, NH to here at Dartmouth, where I've been for 11 years.
R: Who is the most popular Safety and Security Officer?
D: (laughs) I can't single out one, but I can easily narrow it down to three. Myself.Officer Timmins and Officer Willey. We are the ones people know by name and recognize the most.
R: What is your ideal mode of transportation? Car or bike?
D: The bike. I don't like the cars. The bike is more fun and it keeps me in shape. During the winter, unfortunately, I can't use the bike for safety reasons.
R: Tell me about this "bike." I heard yours has a basket, pink tassels and a horn. Please address these allegations.
D: First off, I've never had a basket, tassels and horn on my bike. Second, my bike is real fancy. 24-speed. (Probably not street legal...)
R: So, riddle me this. Is Lance Armstrong on steroids?
D: Absolutely. No question.
R: I agree. Could I beat you in a bike race?
D: You've tried before and failed. So probably not.
R: What's your favorite and least favorite memory of working here?
D: Favorite is going down with students to Biloxi post-Katrina in 2005. Amazing experience. My least favorite is whenever I have to deal with really sick, intoxicated, belligerent students. It's the worst part of the job.
R: What's your favorite and least favorite type of music?
D: I've been playing guitar since I was eight. I love classic rock. I love Zeppelin. As for least favorite, I can't stand some of the stuff coming out now. My wife likes Britney Spears. Wow, she's bad.
R: (With "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman" stuck in head for the remainder of the interview) What's your five-year plan? Do you think you'll be here?
D: I want to be here in five, ten, and hopefully 20 years (Trumpets sound, confetti comes down from the ceiling, I release a Howard Dean-esque scream). I plan on working here until I retire. Also, I live with my wife and three young kids in Hanover, the schools are great and I love Dartmouth. I have no reason to leave.
R: Has a student ever physically attacked you?
D: I've been assaulted about eight times, half students and half community members, twice at the bonfire. I was kicked in the jewels at KDE in 2001 by a girl and the next week, I saw that girl getting on a bus and apparently she never came back to Dartmouth. Probably a good thing.
R: Preach. So, what is Officer Dave's opinion on the drinking age at 21?
D: It should be 18 for sure. It was 18 in Vermont when I was growing up. I say if you can vote and defend your country, you should be able to legally drink.
R: Can I have an old Safety and Security van?
D: They have all been sold but one. The one that's left is in horrible shape and has not moved in eight months. You don't want it.
R: Can I have it?
D: No.
R: Well then. How many times has a student asked you to play pong with them?
D: I can't even begin to guess, so many times. Mostly during reunions by alums that I knew for years past. I have even had some over to my home -- once they are alums, that is.
R: Who's your political candidate these days?
D: I'm a republican. I like John McCain, even though I don't think he will win. I've met both Hillary and Barack, and I really like Barack. He seems like a great guy and I like his message.
R: Nicest faculty member?
D: Professor Rassias. I love that guy. You won't find a better and more genuine person.
R: Can they hook up a laptop on your bike like they did on the Safety and Security vans? That'd be awesome.
D: I actually came up with the idea of the laptop stands in the vans [self-call]. I have a PDA and I would love to mount it on my bike one day.
R: So, I know you love DOC trips. Why do you like helping out so much?
D: DOC trips are one of those unique things Dartmouth does that separates itself from other schools in the best way possible. Trips are amazing and I'll always do anything to help the program.
R: Who's harder to deal with drunk -- sorority girls or fraternity boys?
D: Believe it or not, drunk sorority girls usually. They argue with me much more.
R: What is harder, biking with one leg or with no hands?
D: One leg. Anyone can bike with no hands, right?
R: You're my hero, Officer Dave. Keep it real.
