What do Dartmouth kids do in a city where one can do everything?

by Jean Ellen Cowgill | 10/27/06 5:00am

When asking for input on this article, I received several well-intentioned but patronizing remarks along the lines of "poor little Kentuckian who doesn't understand that the vastness of the City cannot be contained." Yes, people. I have at least visited New York, and I realize that my home of 260,512 does not quite compare to Manhattan's 1,537,195 (not to mention surrounding boroughs, of course). Still, surely one could give a recommendation or two for the Dartmouthian-turned-New Yorker.

In fact, once past their initial indignation, my recommenders named the same night-time establishments. How can one account for this? Blame off-campus programs, which teach every Dartmouth student that no matter where in the world they may wander, they don't have to make new friends. Is it troubling that we re-create the Dartmouth bubble even once we pierce it? Perhaps. But, as one soon-to-be-grad said, " I look forward to witnessing a string of Chi-Gams lined up at a New York bar waiting to receive a drink from the breast-tauting bartender ... and occasionally between fist pounds making an attempt to court surrounding females."

"Though 'round the girdled earth they roam, her spell on them remains," I guess.

Miss the Dartmouth cultural scene?

--Off the Wagon: 109 Macdougal St.

With cheap beer, undergraduates and pong, you won't feel like you've left Webster Ave.

--Bar None: 98 3rd Avenue

Featured by Playboy as "college bar of the month," Bar None is where, as one reviewer said, "men are dudes and beer is Bud." Sounds quite frat-tastic.

--Joshua Tree: 513 3rd Ave

As one Dartmouth student noted, between Bar None and Joshua Tree, "you can pretty much meet up with the entire class from college on a Saturday night." If you miss Sigma Nu's early 80s, however, Joshua Tree is the choice for you, with its loud 80s music and accompanying music videos on big screen TVs.

Miss the endowment?

--Dartmouth Club of New York: 50 Vanderbilt Avenue

A fun place to go on Thursday nights in the summer. You can debate the new constitution, gather snow sculpture tips and generally schmooze with alumni, and then beat up a Yale-y as you walk out (we use their facilities).

Miss free beer?

--Central Park

New York is not cheap. As one student said, "I drink wayyyy freakin' less because I'm so used to having free alcohol." If this happens to you, take your sober self to free museums, art galleries and walks in Central Park. If you stare at the trees hard enough, you just might believe you are back in the middle of nowhere.

Miss free time?

--Cute corporate whore's new apartment

Dartmouth students are busy, but corporate interns and associates are even busier. As one '06 i-banker states, "I watch a lot of Law and Order on other people's couches -- it's the new pong date." And the hook-up culture continues ...