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The Dartmouth
June 13, 2024 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

A New Mascot Idea

To the Editor:

I believe it is time for Dartmouth to make a change in the mascot department; let's be honest, the moose needs to go. However, I have a somewhat novel idea: let's be the Fighting Indian-mascot advocates! Our mascot would be fearless, willing to flog an issue to death while the rest of the school watches in amazement. At football games, it could hide behind a giant copy of the First Amendment so as to avoid questions of morality. And whenever we score a touchdown, it could bellow out its war chant: "Wah hoo wah!" In English, this is translated to "Apparently, we have not wronged Native Americans enough."