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The Dartmouth
April 20, 2024 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

Been There, Done That

Since Dartmouth's creation and long before there have been countless predictions regarding the timeline for the end of the world. Some of these prophecies at least have a tangible backstory, while others are just downright ridiculous. For the history-minded among you and the chronic worriers The Mirror has put together a guide to apocalypse scares past and present to show that panic about the future might just be old news.

Questionably Credible

Jan 1, 2000: While planes did not fall out of the sky and the stock market did not collapse, Y2K did cause some small disruptions around the world and in Hanover. According to a January 2000 article of The Dartmouth, there were "several thousand Macintosh users who discovered that their versions of BlitzMail were not Y2K compliant." The College remedied this malfunction by simply sending students and faculty new versions of the BlitzMail software, sidestepping a technology and flitzing crisis. Dartmouth-Hithcock Medical Center made sure that its backup generator system would function smoothly during the transition from 1999 to 2000, should any problems arise, the article reported.

Dec 21, 2012: Admittedly, this date does not have much credibility beyond the fact that the Mayans have been right about a few things before and that it's arguably the most well-known apocalyptic prediction, popularized by movies like "2012." Except for the sarcastic Facebook status mentions of the possible end of the world, Dartmouth students as a whole didn't seem too worried, wishing friends a happy holiday with full confidence of seeing them in 2013.

Circa 5000002013: Four to five billion years from now, the sun will become a red star and swallow the planets. This will presumably be the true end of the world, so if you're making bets, this is where you should place your money!

Certifiably Kooky

634 B.C.: The Romans thought the world would end based on the predictions of Romulus, one of Rome's founders. Romulus saw 12 eagles at once and believed each bird represented 10 years in the lifetime of Rome. Using these "calculations," Romulus expected the end of the world 120 years after the founding of Rome, which placed the apocalypse at 634 B.C. Do the math, history majors! This may be history's most complicated and ornithological prediction.

1624: A group of astrologers thought the world would end this year, but only after they'd made a failed prediction that the apocalypse would arrive one hundred years earlier in 1524. That doesn't seem like a small arithmetic error now, does it?

1656: The end of days, according to none other than controversial historical figure Christopher Columbus. We now know this guy wasn't the first to discover the New World, was horrible to the Natives and sucked at creating prophesies. This dude can't catch a break.

1843 and 1844: The Millerites, led by William Miller, prophesized many dates throughout this period, choosing a new date each time a previous estimate failed. This group eventually became the Seventh Day Adventist Church.

1910: Astronomer Camille Flammarion thought that the arrival of Halley's Comet would destroy life on earth. Opportunists capitalized on this phenomenon by selling "comet pills" to "protect" people from toxic gases.

1919: Famed meteorologist Albert Porta predicted the apocalypse would coincide with the United State's passage of the 18th Amendment authorizing prohibition. His expectations weren't fueled by the ban on alcohol, however Porta believed the alignment of six planets would result in a magnetic force, causing the sun to explode. Porta didn't only lose whatever bets he had placed on his predictions, he also lost his job, going from a meteorological superstar to the friendly weather reporter for his local paper.

1935: Flat Earth theorist Wilbur Glenn Voliva thought the world "would go puff and disappear" in September of 1935. No word on whether or not it was the 21st night of September Voliva expected us to remember. At least this probably would have been the most painless way to go.