News
Tour guides for the College will have a new stop on their itinerary this year, the four newly erected brick pillars standing in front of Thayer Dining Hall.
A verifiable "Foodhenge," the new addition has crowds wondering.
While several students commented on the practical uses of the pillars, such as bike supports and brick depositories, many explored their possible cosmic dimensions.
"I say aliens put them there," Rolando Lopez '00 said.
Vince Cannon '99 explained the pillars served as a "guide for space aliens into Full Fare, or whatever it is called now, where they can get all the chicken they can eat."
Jason Gracilieri '99 said, "it is like one of those things in "Ghostbusters" for channelling ghost energy."
Students pondered that perhaps the posts could mark an ancient landmark.
"Maybe it's an ancient sacrifice spot where that new door to Robinson is the mouth of some strange pseudo-Mayan god and the pillars are braziers for burning incense," Noah Phillips '00 said.
Alex Magleby '00 agreed with that assessment, adding "these are the foundations for a virgin sacrifice balcony."
Randy Rutherford '99 explained, "if there were five of them, it would be for some satanic ritual."
The placement of the pillars, forming a square outlined by a foot-wide brick inlay, did not go unnoticed by students.
Doug White '97 explained, "there is the Bermuda Triangle ... and now we have the Dartmouth Square," he said.
Many students saw the pillars as possible shrines to Dartmouth tradition.
Freshman Curran Stockwell hypothesized, "I think they are for a really big pong table."
The College is "going to mount sculptures of Jimmy O., Dean Pelton, and Mr. Wheelock on them," Spencer Jones '00 said.
Larelin Cartaya '97 suggested the podiums could support a statue of the Cat in the Hat.
One of the most common hypotheses behind the structures saw the square 'arena' as some sort of new athletic facility.
Robert Rees '97 said the distance between the mystery objects "would be a perfect professional wrestling ring ... I can just see someone climbing up on there for a body slam."
Bethany Crenshaw '99 envisions "a big boxball court, you know, you used to play that in elementary school."
"At some point, they [the College] are going to get the Editor-in-Chief of the Dartmouth Review and James O.
