’18 on the Saturday after Halloween:“I just ate a cracker and threw up.”
’15: “You know what I’ve realized? I’ve only hooked up with Alpha Chis this term. And that includes a random dance floor makeout. What’s wrong with me?”
’18: “I’m disappointed, my selfies have been lacking because of my need to study. I can’t just take selfies of me studying all the time.”
’15: “I can’t hook up with him. We can either be good friends or skip over all the middle stuff and go right to sexless marriage.”
’15: “It’s just polite to streak flacidly.”
