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The Dartmouth
April 19, 2024 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

OMG! Embarrassing Stories from Freshman Fall

I walked into the bathroom ass-naked in my dorm while my friend was filming me at like four in the morning, and all of my best guy friends walked out of the elevator and saw me. Stark Naked Scarlett '15

One time during freshman fall I was hooking up with a girl in the outer room of her dorm, and her roommate walked out of the bedroom. I realized I'd hooked up with her roommate the night before.Double Trouble Dan '13

I was casually riding my bike to a midterm, and this guy rolled a stop sign and hit me. My bike hit his right headlight, and I slid across the hood of the car and landed on the pavement on the other side. The guy came out of his car crying and freaking out, and I was just like "Dude, I'm fine. You're fine. Your car is fine. My bike is less fine but still functions. I have to get to my midterm." We exchanged numbers, and I went to take my test. I later found out that he worked at KAF, and I got free lattes for a week.Drive-By Betty '15

I lost my virginity freshman fall to the song "Feel So Close." My friends make fun of me for it every day.Too Close Tanya '15

I Good Sammed myself once, which was really stupid. I thought it was a good idea because I was booting. Goodsammin' Sam '13

I took a "pee-pee" on the floor one time, and a friend came over and patted it with her hand, sniffed it and said, "What is this?!"Leaky Luke '15

I fell off the bed during sex. I had to get used to the twin XL bed.Naughty Nosediving Nina '15

Last week, I woke up super hungry so I decided that I would bike to FoCo. Then, I remembered that it rained the night before, so I grabbed a towel to wipe the puddle of water off of my bike seat and ran downstairs out of the building in my pajamas to get my bike ready. As soon as the door closed behind me, I realized that I didn't bring my phone or ID out with me, and no one was in sight. Just a minute after I wiped the bicycle seat off, it started pouring rain, and I was just chilling outside in my PJs. That lasted for about 20 minutes because this place was deserted, and I was hiding under the tiny overhang over the building entrance.Rained-On Rachel '16

This one time during Homecoming I hooked up with a '10 who was crashing a freshman floor pregame. Not entirely sure what he was doing there, but I'm pretty sure I helped complete his decade.Dartmouth Decade Danielle '14

During freshman year I was sitting on a bench at AD talking to my friend. I left my phone on the side of the bench and when I turned back a guy was straight up peeing on it. I didn't know what to do so I just left it there. No idea where it went.Pee-Pee Patsy '15

I took a Starbucks Double Shot and three shots of whiskey and blended it with ice in a magic bullet blender. I woke up in the Hop theater's dressing/prop room. Chef Charlie '13

I was in the basement of Theta Delt my freshmen year, and it was my second game of pong ever. I was playing with a lacrosse boy and some girls on my team. Very athletically, I dove to try to hit a return shot and ended up knocking the entire table over, beer and all. I started to cry and was reassured that everything was OK by the older laxers. I was laughed at and made fun of later, which did a number on my confidence as a pong player.Clutzy Crying Callie '14

My freshman floor always used to play pranks on each other. My floormate once pranked UGA by turning everything in his room inside out. To get revenge, my UGA moved his mattress into an obscure room in the basement. He never found it.Hanky Pranky Penelope '15