I don't remember the exact moment that secret societies first appeared on my radar, but it probably happened sometime freshman Winter when I started noticing people wearing ridiculous outfits in Collis and faking orgasms in the 1902 Room. At the time, I had a very warped perception of secret societies I assumed they were ultra-selective groups of highly accomplished, intellectual students who gathered to discuss the meaning of life and other abstractions that were way over my head. Never did I imagine that approximately 25 percent of my graduating class would be affiliated with a society, and that they would be average Dartmouth students, just like me.
A few weeks into junior Winter I was riding a ski lift alongside my best friend. She suddenly asked me if I remembered a conversation from freshman year, in which we had sworn that if we were ever tapped, we would tell each other immediately. I did remember it was a silly conversation we had after a few too many margaritas, and it seemed ridiculous at the time since neither of us believed we would ever come into contact with the seemingly elite world of societies, although it was fun to imagine the possibility. My friend went on to describe a mysterious blitz she had received the night before. She seemed nervous but excited. I was excited for her.
Soon after that conversation, it suddenly seemed like everyone I knew was eating cake with chopsticks and putting up seemingly-random Facebook pictures. At first it was amusing, but as the weirdness became more and more prevalent, I began to wonder if I was the only '12 who didn't get tapped for something. I began to feel self-conscious for acting like a normal person I felt like I was missing out on some campus-wide joke that didn't include me. I started avoiding the library so that I wouldn't have to constantly observe ridiculous tapping shenanigans. I even stayed in my room the first Monday night after taps began because I assumed that if I were seen around campus, I might as well hang a sign around my neck that screamed, "I didn't get tapped."
Let me clarify I didn't feel in any way depressed or rejected. I just felt awkward. I went out of my way to avoid discussing societies, because I figured my friends who were tapped wouldn't want to talk to me about them, and I assumed that discussing them with friends who had not been tapped would make them feel worse about it. My friends who had been tapped were equally awkward, because at the time they didn't have much more of a clue about what was going on than I did.
People at Dartmouth myself included tend to take things a little too seriously. And it took me about two weeks to realize that societies are no exception.
I finally decided to shed my unnecessary awkwardness and started asking my friends how exactly they spent their Monday nights. I got some surprisingly straightforward answers, and honestly, it didn't sound all that special. As the taboo around discussing secret societies began to melt away, I realized that I was perfectly fine with not being a part of one. Don't get me wrong they seem really great. But there are countless opportunities for me to meet cool new people on campus it's just not that hard to introduce myself to the person sitting next to me in class or to sign up for a DOC weekend trip.
If I were in a society, I don't think I'd have time to go to meetings every week, and I certainly wouldn't be able to hang out for an extended period of time. I haven't had the freedom to drink on a Monday night since freshman year.
I've definitely had my ups and downs, but I can honestly say I'm happy at Dartmouth. I'm planning to go into a career that I'm extremely passionate about. I'm involved in organizations I love. I have the best friends anyone could ask for. There's nothing meaningful missing from my college experience that society membership would remedy, and I can only hope that every single student on this campus tapped or not tapped could say the same.
