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The Dartmouth
July 14, 2025 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

Frat-ernity

While the College on the Hill has rallied for its titularly nebulous Campaign for the Student Experience, student social life continues to grow at a less-than-precipitous pace. And with history as precedent, the growth of the cost of a Dartmouth education has no end in sight. Meanwhile, Programming Board sits on its gigantic pile of money like a masturbatory Scrooge McDuck while dozens of student groups order food for meetings on our -- or whoever pays the bills' -- collective dime. And the selfless hero of the Dartmouth social scene, the Greek system, is given an administrative tepid shoulder. Issues of gender dynamics aside, the personal investment in these storied houses is greater than any other made on campus. The College may want to end the Greek system, but in fact, it holds the possibility for programming majesty.

The College has worked to ban the Greek system for years and finds itself struggling to do so, with much student resentment. And the proof of Greek indelibility is in the money. The best attended social events are -- quite ironically -- those funded by students themselves. By this, I mean, of course, fraternity and sorority parties (although I want to specifically focus on those houses who selflessly permit universal entry).

Greek house dues compensate for the costs of dance parties, cocktail events and any other house programming. The most valuable and appreciated use of student funds results from College cooperation with the Greek system; party packs and bottles of water are undeniably the greatest social contribution the administrative has to offer. Aside from pizza and water (a half-way manifestation of panem et circenses), the College also offers its legal protection.

It is an incredibly well-endowed Big Brother that offers refreshments and law enforcement to students who are enjoying the application of private student funds. This may just be considered a result of Dartmouth's alcoholism: not a chemical dependence but a social one. And while the College wants to avoid the sticky issue of financially supporting underage drinking, this one-dimensional view of Greek life is the ultimate inhibitor of cooperative progress.

Outside of the realm of alcohol, Greek houses have substantive things to offer. Students are willing to pay up to half a grand each term for private fraternity and sorority events, many similar to those of College-funded groups. If a student group wants funding for a trip or for food at a meeting, the College will subsidize it happily -- it's only natural for this wealthy institutional benefactor to support student bonding and enrichment. However, a fraternity or sorority that wants to follow in the footsteps of its organizational peers finds itself limited by individual student indigence and thinly spread student activities coffers. The extravagant Boloco feasts and noodle-y Orient orgies that provide groups with the only reason for attendance cannot be replicated by a subset of student organizations that represent a near campus-wide majority: the Greeks. (With your classical nomenclature, Agora, I'm not sure if this means you, too. But feel free to hop on the subsidy bandwagon.)

If Greek leaders make a greater effort to reach out to other organizations, along with a generous helping hand from the College, there is a greater chance that houses would respond with constructive programming. Bureaucratic bloat and Committee on Student Organizations (COSO) applications discourage efficient, timely programming. We all need to encourage bonds between groups and Greeks to create events that aren't just sponsored by Greek houses ("let's throw money at this"), but that utilize their resources. Students show a preference for Greek spaces with their membership. College, reach into your gilded pockets and help influence a system You find so flawed.

The school may want the Greeks eliminated because they are seen as misogynistic (fraternities, mostly), alcoholic and worthless. What is "worth" but well-applied funding? The way to work towards a resolution is not through eradication of Greek houses, but through the power of money and collaboration.

Open your golden arms, Dartmouth, and Greek houses will work with you to create more constructive programming. Fraternities and sororities offer available social spaces, willing volunteers and reputations for popularity. With a guiding hand, they will become positive spaces not only for alcoholic events, but for those that span the gap between AD-Disco and Collis Karaoke. They won't bend to your iron will, but they will meet you halfway. They might finally put down their paddles and prick up their ears.