I want to start off by saying that I am not anti-nudity. I have no problems with naked people at all. In fact, there are many times when nakedness improves situations. How many boring movies have been brightened up by the appearance of a famous actor's perky body -- even if all you're seeing is a butt double? Nakedness is not only normal, but it can be stimulating.
That said, I don't think streaking ever counts as a funny prank.
Sure, it can be fun for the naked people themselves " the feeling of freedom, the intoxicating liberty of shedding one's clothes -- adrenaline rush and runner's high combined. Maybe I'm just mixing up the intoxicating power of streaking with its alcoholic cousin, which makes getting naked easier for most people.
However, if the shape of your body itself is the joke, then no matter how good it makes you feel, I definitely don't want to see you naked.
In any case (or shape), even drunk streakers know the boundaries they are breaking, which is the reason they are doing it in the first place. Streakers are saying to the people they pass, "Look at how spontaneous and fun I am; there is literally nothing I won't do as long as I have an audience to appreciate me." This is where streakers differ most from skinny-dippers or other types that just love the feeling of being naked -- it's not only the skin, it's the ego underneath.
My other problem with streaking is when people choose to accessorize their naked body with a pair of sneakers. I understand that a quick getaway is an important component of streaking. But let's be honest, sneakers look so weird and oddly thought-out when contrasted with a bare butt. If you are going to run around naked, why not go all the way? Or if your feet are really too soft and sensitive, why don't you at least opt for flip-flops?
The original streakers were probably sitting around in some dorm room trying to think of a prank that would get them noticed as a group of people with a sense of humor. But as hard as they tried, they couldn't think of a single funny thing to do.
They didn't want to do a prank that required an exertion of too much effort, like putting all the furniture on the roof or covering a room in honey and rigging buckets of water to dump on its unsuspecting owner, a la The Parent Trap. Instead, they decided that the best and easiest way to make people laugh or to get back at their friends was to run around naked.
It really comes down to a lack of creativity.
By the time college comes around, I would hope that everyone has seen enough nudity, through streaking or otherwise, that they do not break into the same nervous laughter as they would have in middle school. Back then, yes, the craziest thing someone could do was to run up and down the street naked.
Are today's Dartmouth streakers prepubescent in their sense of humor? Or are they just eager to inflict their body on other people?
Now even Lindsay Lohan resorts to flashing people to keep her career alive. I think we can all agree she was much cuter in The Parent Trap, putting furniture on roofs and switching places with her identical, fully clothed twin. The same logic applies in pranks, so the next time you are trying to think of a funny one, think beyond nakedness. Unless you have a truly banging body -- in which case ignore everything I've just said, and go take a few laps around the Green.
Eve is a staff writer for The Mirror. She thinks anyone who falls on his penis deserves it.
