Congratulations and welcome. You've managed to flip The D over and find one of the best sports columns in New England, printed and tailored especially for the Dartmouth community at large.
I'm sure that most of you lucky WOE readers out there managed to watch Super Bowl XLI and were not surprised to see Rex Grossman do exactly what every Bears fan in the northern hemisphere was afraid he was going to do: be Rex Grossman. Two interceptions, two fumbles and only one touchdown aren't going to win Rex or the Bears any Super Bowls. In fact, that kind of performance probably won't earn Rex a funny "K-Fed Has A Sense of Humor About Himself-esque" commercial, but will almost definitely prevent him from drinking in any bar in Chicago for the next decade or so.
For some reason that I am still trying to get my head around, Peyton Manning was voted the MVP of the game. Glancing at the numbers he put up, a reasonable person might be hard pressed to find "MVP" written anywhere in between the lines: 25-for-38 for 247 passing yards, one TD, one INT and one fumble. From the man who shattered the single season touchdown record in the not-so-distant past and has been hailed as perhaps the best quarterback ever, his output in Super Bowl XLI was mediocre at best. Apparently, his performance was not a factor for the voters.
Peyton's MVP status is even more surprising when Dominic Rhodes and Joseph Addai (the number one and two reasons why the Colts won the game) come into the picture. Rhodes rushed for a game-high 113 yards on 21 carries and scored a touchdown, but only got the satisfaction of saying "I'm going to Disney World" with an emotionless Tony Dungy after the game, instead of hoisting the MVP trophy. And what about Joseph Addai? Well, his 143 total yards from scrimmage was only the second-highest ever for a rookie in the Super Bowl. And it was Addai who led the Colts receiving corps with 10 catches for 66 yards, not Marvelously-Unmarvelous Marvin Harrison, who was either stifled by the Bears secondary all night long, or was preoccupied with trying to figure out why the media fawn over him despite his habit of failing to show up in big games. If you read last week's WOE, you would already know everything I just went over, because I predicted the crap out of it.
And now, I hope you all have your bibs on, because it's time for my bread and butter. Awards:
Skid-Ender of the Weekend: Florida State 68, Duke 67
Things just don't get better for Duke. After the lacrosse scandal, you would think that their perennial powerhouse men's basketball program would pull it together and restore some school pride. But the Blue Devils are very young this year and are slowly on their way down the top-25 rankings list, currently sitting at No. 10 and sure to be a lot lower after losing at home to the unranked Florida State Seminoles for the first time in the last 16 meetings between the two teams. To add insult to injury, J. J. Redick -- leading scorer in Duke and ACC history and most heckled player in the country for the past four years -- had his No. 4 jersey retired at halftime. During his speech, Redick thanked the Duke program and his teammates, but was booed off the court after publicly apologizing for Florida State's offensive mascot.
Banned Sport of the Weekend: Water Pong
Kristin Deal, community director for the Choates and North Hall, recently banned water pong in her residence halls on the pretense that, "Whether students are drinking the water or not, it is a possible liability if someone was to become intoxicated in water." That is a direct quote from "Water pong banned, risks of overhydrating cited" (Feb. 5). And no, I didn't make any of that up.
Let's look past the absurd statement of "becoming intoxicated in water" and beyond it to the broader meaning this travesty has on dorm life at Dartmouth College. No water pong this week, who knows what could be next? Maybe a new ban on Tiddlywinks will be imposed for fear of some students putting out each other's eyes. Or perhaps a ban on Guitar Hero II should be placed in all dorms to avoid the possible liability of well-documented "forearm injuries" that can occur from extensive strumming. Or maybe we should just agree to pad all the walls and sharp corners on campus so poor Dartmouth students don't hurt themselves walking to and from pong games.
