The beginning of Spring term is such a tease. It's warm and beautiful one minute, and cold and rainy the next.
The finicky weather has gotten us caught in a gruesome game of hard to get -- a game I have long forgotten how to play with any skill.
To wear a skirt or to wear jeans? To wear flip-flops or to wear boots? A coat? A sweater? How warm is it? How much should I layer? Is it going to rain today, will it get cold, is it supposed to get hot? Who knows? Who really cares?
Well, obvi, a striving fashionista cares. Weather.com should be our new best friend.
It's like the game of blitz flirting and witty banter -- he sends you a blitz, you wait ten hours and reply; he waits two days to write back, so you wait three more.
Each blitz requires an hour of careful crafting to make you sound one part breezy, one part brilliant, one part hilarious and two parts irresistible. It usually goes nowhere, except eventually a couple of hookups and then months worth of awkward interactions in Food Court and other equally groovy social settings.
But it's the same with early Spring term and the terrible pseudo-relationship we have with the bizarro weather trends that just won't end.
Getting dressed is about as annoying as figuring out the blitz game. Fashionistas have to figure out the perfect combination of clothes that will make you look one part breezy, one part brilliant, one part hilarious and two parts irresistible. And this, of course, is no simple task.
Obviously, the weather's always one step ahead of the game and six hours late in blitzing to let us know the deal.
Let's compare the Dartmouth fling to the Weather-Fashionista fling (a study in anthropology/sociology?). Take, for example, the following scenario:
Date: 31 Mar 2006 08:14:25 EDT
From: Weather
Subject: hey
To: Fashionista
It's getting bright here through my window. Having trouble sleeping. Thought I'd make sure you got home all right after I saw you last night. I have a knack for giving good directions. -w
Obviously, we take this as a sign that he's totally into me and it's going to be warm out. But clearly we can't blitz back to make sure yet. We have to bank on our own interpretation of the brilliant blitz he sent. So we wear a skirt and flip-flops. Two hours later it rains.
So, soaked and splattered with mud, we play it cool and wait a day and write back.
Date: 01 Apr 2006 13:14:25 EDT
From: Fashionista
Subject: re: hey
To: Weather
hey there ... thanks for the warning about the rain ... think I could've entered a wet t-shirt contest had there been one. Sorry you couldn't sleep ... I was cozy in my bed thanks to those good directions you gave me.
Then the inevitable question. To ask or not to ask something in the blitz that merits a response?
Thirsty for some blitz love, we add: What's up? Or something equally lame.
Obviously, he waits four days, finally responds:
Date: 05 Apr 2006 24:14:25 EDT
From: Weather
Subject: re: hey
To: Fashionista
---you wrote: ---
what's up?
---end of quote --
Not much. I've been really busy. Peace -w
And so it seems the non-relationship is over already -- but like the hookup gone sour, Weather just won't go away. Every day, we have to go through the same motions of figuring out how to handle what could be gorgeous or could be treacherous. And we're stuck relying on weather.com, which is only mildly reliable at best.
It's tough to live the life of a fashionista. But we've all got to do it. It's us against the world: we can't escape Weather, but we can play it cool.
We wear what we want, and we pack a change of clothes in our very fashionable bag. If we're lucky, we'll beat the weather at its own devious game.
Isn't it fun to compare fashion and blitz? I've had such a great time! OMG, blitz me if you, like, want to hang out or something, k? Great, can't wait. I'm sooo excited. Bye!!
