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The Dartmouth
May 20, 2024 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth


"I'm so excited. Kaitlyn Cooper's returning to "The OC" tonight!"

"Oh yeah! I've never met her."

  • Two girls milling by Collis garbage cans, post-breakfast

"My favorite part of going to Dartmouth is that I'm a Kappa, and that's like being permanently in style."

  • Drunk girl, Second Floor of AD

"She's so lame. She didn't even know what a one-night stand was"

  • Sorority girl, Collis lunchtime

"Act casual, it's the basement."

  • Random guy frantically ushering large group through Trikap's basement door, mid dance party.

"But do you think she likes her Dad more than you?"

  • One guy to another, Food Court grill line.

Jewish Girl 1: "So what should I tell him? 'Hey, I saw your profile on JDate?'"

Jewish Girl 2: "No, no, no. Just say you know him through a friend (don't say me, we only went out once), or you saw his Facebook profile, or you saw him at Friday dinner . . . no, shit, you weren't there on Friday. Just don't say JDate. You don't want to be freaky, but he's a Jewish med student and this is Hanover. You have to be aggressive."

Collis, Mid-Morning

"I was reading some article about relationships and how a woman becomes addicted to her partner's sperm. That is the reason for so many of our actions and feelings."

  • Mother's voice blaring out of embarrassed girl's cell phone, Berry Stairwell.

Overhear something great? Blitz "TheD" with submissions for next week.