Before you come to college, everyone tells you that the next four years will the best four years of your life. I never quite knew what to make of this statement. It always sounded too good to be true. Can college really be a never-ending sequence of ups and downs that will change you forever? Will it really be the place that will shape your opinions and help transform you into an adult? Can college really be everything it's promised to be or will you, at the end of four years, be horribly disappointed? These were some of the questions I had before I came to Dartmouth two years ago. But let me tell you from my experience, that college has been everything it was promised to be and so much more.
College is about having fun. Different people have different ways of having fun -- some enjoy the DOC scene, others immerse themselves in Greek life, still others actually derive some enjoyment from their classes. It doesn't matter what you like, there are enough options available that you will find something to excite you, to interest you, to mold you. It actually isn't so much about the particular activity as it is about the people you meet while engaged in these activities. Maybe you'll meet the love of your life playing pong or maybe you'll make lifelong friends while procrastinating in your dorm. The possibilities are endless, the only constraint being that of time. Four years is just not nearly long enough.
But the most important function of college is to transform a nave 18-year old into a mature adult. How exactly this transformation occurs is something I haven't quite figured out yet. Perhaps it's just one of those mysterious phenomena that are simply not meant to be understood. No matter how much I try to analyze this phenomenon, I can't seem to discover some underlying principle or guide. It sort of just happens, I think. And one day you wake up and realize that you're old and wise and turning into an exact replica of your parents. Frightening, isn't it?
Growing up is tough to do, there's no doubt about it. There are so many lessons to be learned, not the least of which is taking responsibility for your own life. When you're still living at home, life is a little more simple. If you mess up, your parents yell at you, reprimand you and make you reflect on what you've done. You tell them you're sorry and they usually forgive you without too much drama. That's the way it's meant to be -- kids make mistakes and parents forgive them. You sort of have this sense of security that no matter what you do, your parents will love you and be there for you. It's so comforting, but somewhat detrimental because life isn't really like that.
We're all human, so we're bound to keep making mistakes. But sometimes the mistakes we make are horrible enough that they cannot be forgiven. Not everyone in your life can love you as unconditionally as your parents. To err is human, to forgive divine. Forgiveness has to be earned; it is something you have to deserve. It's rare to find someone who will forgive you easily after you have committed a gross violation of some sort. But if and when you do find such a person, I recommend you hold onto them for dear life because you may have stumbled on something special, something worth preserving, something worth living for. Life is a series of bonds made and broken -- you just have to learn which ones are worth fighting for.
This is what college is all about -- making these kind of realizations and learning from them. It's about doing the right thing even when your parents aren't looking over your shoulders. It's about learning fascinating things about human behavior. It's about making those special bonds that make everything else seem inconsequential. It's all so transient -- if you close your eyes for too long, things will just quietly slip away. It's time to open your eyes and see things for what they are. It's time to start getting acquainted with yourself and figuring out what you really want. It's time to realize that it's never too late to apologize to someone you truly care about -- sometimes all it takes is a sincere "I'm sorry." Is college really the best four years of your life? I don't know -- but judging from the past two years, I think someone may have had the right idea.
