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The Dartmouth
July 12, 2025 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

The Forgotten Depression

To the Editor:

Conventional wisdom holds that men do not experience depression. At least, not real men. Real men don't feel sad, lonely, hopeless, scared, anxious or shameful. Ever. A man instead experiences three emotional states: "fine," "horny," and "angry;" the final state being the default for any of the above-mentioned emotions that might happen to slip into consciousness. Men, therefore, cannot possibly have depression. Unless, of course, they are failing in their masculinity.

In reality, sadness, loneliness, hopelessness, fear, anxiety and shame are much more common among men than even they realize. But for men to express these feelings openly is masculine self-destruction. Fear of being labeled "weird," "girly," or, worst of all, "gay" keeps the vast majority of men silent. These unrealized emotions can fester and form into what author Terrance Real calls, "Covert Depression," a silent epidemic that affects millions of men. Many can live in this state for years -- some can even make it their entire lives. But for some -- I would argue the lucky few -- events conspire to make the covert into the overt, and there is no choice but to seek help.

Well, there is one other choice. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 3,300 males aged 15 to 24 committed suicide in the U.S. in 1999. It was the third leading cause of death among this age group, behind unintentional injuries and homicide. While more young women attempt suicide, more young men actually succeed in killing themselves, by a ratio of more than five to one. Men choose violent and unfortunately very effective means.

Many men are suffering on this campus. Thankfully, some are getting help. But even among those of us who are battling the disease, there is no discourse. We sneak into and out of Dick's House for appointments and often hide our afflictions from our closest friends.

The Male Depression Initiative of the Men's Project is working to lift the shroud of secrecy and shame that surrounds this disease. Our goal is to normalize the perception of depression by talking about it openly. We want to bring men together to discuss experiences, share information and create a support network that can offer help when things aren't going so well.

While this is not a therapy group and not a substitute for professional psychotherapy, we can provide assistance and support to individuals at all stages of depression. We will also offer contact information and other resources for those seeking professional help.

If you're battling depression or know someone who is or might be, please attend one of our meetings on Wednesdays from 4-6 p.m. in 219 Collis (this group is specifically designed to target male depression). As clich as it sounds, there is no need to suffer alone.