Lou: Hey Kev, did you see that the World League football game over the weekend? Do you think Dartmouth should now offer a Football FSP?
Kev: I'd be more in favor of a Football LSA. They would offer Football 3, Football 10 and some thesis in football language. The culminating experience could be that "IBM You Make the Call" thing on "Monday Night Football". You get it wrong, you get to officiate IM football. By the way, the politically correct name is N.F.L. Europe. But they still have the same awful players.
Lou: N.F.L. Europe team against our rugby team, who do you think would get the 'W'?
Kev: Forget either of those, I'll take those crazy Australians who play that weird thing with the kicking and all and the cool referees in white jackets who do that funny thing with their arms. Think they learn that in Miniversity or something?
Lou: Speaking of that, I have a cool Miniversity course idea that I'm suggesting for next fall. Beginning Socially Acceptable Rotisserie League Baseball.
Kev: Is that where they teach you how to roast the chickens on those metal goalposts?
Lou: No, no, that's the state sport of Alabama.
Kev: I thought fantasizing about carrying Bear Bryant's love child was the state sport in Alabama.
Lou: Speaking of Alabama, what is the deal with their nickname, the Crimson Tide. What kind of school would choose a color as a nickname?
Kev: At least Stanford has a dancing tree. Wow, we have lots of trees. We have lots of freshmen. Can't we cut some trees down and put some freshmen in them and make them dance? Then they would have the granite of New Hampshire in their muscles and their branches.
Lou: Hey Kev, what's your favorite college mascot?
Kev: It's got to be the Santa Cruz Banana Slugs. If only EBAs delivered banana slugs smothered in buffalo sauce.
Lou: EBAs, doesn't that have something to do with rotisserie baseball?
Kev: No, that's ERA. It's a pitching statistic. Rotisserie Baseball has so many stats it should count as a TAS class, Social Science 11.
Lou: There's nothing social about rotisserie baseball.
Kev: I guess that makes Rotisserie baseball the official sport of the creative loner. Translating Catallus, writing poetry and reading the sports section.
Lou: Wait, we play rotisserie baseball. And we not only read but we write the sports section.
Kev: Shh. They don't need to know that.
Lou: You know what they do need to know, that Cincinnati shortstop Pokey Reese (Class of Didn't Go Here) has more errors than your average copy of The D.
Kev: Hey Lou, former Big Green pitching star Mike Remlinger (Class of Did Go Here)was the opening starter for the Reds.
Lou: Aren't Remlingers outlawed in all states except Alabama? There's that pesky state of Alabama showing up again.
