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The Dartmouth
June 19, 2024 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

Let the Progressive Dinners Begin ...

About a week ago I got my first rush blitz. It was starting. What had been a passing thought was now a concrete one. Five minutes after that first blitz I got another "so you going on Friday?" Then another "going to the rush dinner", then another "wanna go to the dinner?" and finally "what are you wearing to the dinner?". Some place in the back of my mind a little voice with a valley girl accent exclaimed "Like oh my god, I have nothing to wear!" So of course I suppressed this annoying little voice and determined to wear overalls and sneakers. I don't want to belong to a house that cares about what I look like or how I dress; they should want me because I'm me. I continued with this line of thought just long enough to see all my friends in skirts and make-up and turned right around to change.

A short time later (yes, it is possible for girls to change quickly) and appropriately attired, I make my way over to my first "progressive dinner." I walk up to the door, put on my "fake and I'm aware of it" smile and proceed to mingle with the sisters.

The first sister, wearing an identical smile comes up to me: "Hi so glad to have you here.(tilts head one side) I'm insert female name here, what's your name?"

"Hi, I'm Marcia"

"Marcia? Like Marcia Brady? Like Marcia Marcia Marcia?

As images of countless gruesome deaths flash before my eyes I slowly clench my teeth into a controlled smile "yes, just like that"

"Remember Marcia," I say to myself "be nice, you like this house, don't curse out the sisters."

After a few more minutes of conversation which she had most likely had with at least three people before me, she passes me on to another sister.

Second sister: "Hi, nice to have you. I'm insert another name, what's yours?"

"I'm (please please no Brady jokes, I pray silently) Marcia."

"Marcia, like Marcia, Marcia, Marcia?"

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! "Yes like that" I say as I desperately try to control my body from twitching. My clenched jaw is beginning to hurt.

The second sister then passes me over to a third who after hearing my name say "I bet you get a lot of those stupid Brady jokes?"

"God bless you!" I wanted to cry but instead simply said "yeah but it's no big deal." Can we say hypocrite?

The lights flashed a couple of times and the president spoke to us for a minute. As I peered over heads at the beautiful, slim, intelligent well-spoken girl (yes I am blatantly brown-nosing here in the hopes she reads The Dartmouth), I realized she is the same girl who usually sits behind me in Italian. "Yes," I thought, "connections." Mental note: "talk to her more in class and compliment her on at least one article of clothing."

As I left my first night of rush activities I still had little idea about where I was going to rush or how I was going to decide. Instead I came to the conclusion that free food is inherently good, and I have all summer to put off making any kind of decision.