Although some skeptics might tell you that majoring in psychology does not adequately prepare you for corporate recruiting, medical school or law school, I have found through my four years as an undergraduate that a psychology major can indeed be practical. There is no doubt that many of the phenomena discussed in social science texts and explained in psychology journals can be applied to our everyday lives. In fact, many such empirical findings can be used to manipulate others or to achieve success and fame.
Okay, in all honesty, I haven't yet used my undergraduate education to dupe unsuspecting humanities or science majors, but that doesn't mean you can't. To prove my point, let's take my favorite of all psychological phenomena-- what psychologists deem misattribution of arousal. According to the psych literature on the misattribution of arousal, people sometimes misinterpret what has specifically caused their excited state. For instance, subjects who are given a placebo while asked to complete a stress-inducing task may attribute their increased stress level to the placebo, ignoring the possibility that the task had any effect on their emotional state.
Now you might ask how this could possibly affect your life. For example, how could a simple psychological concept bring you any closer to winning over the guy in your Spanish class with the sculpted accent, the amazingly developed tight tilde and the Fabioesque intonation?
Well, my first piece of advice, regardless of psychological principles, is to totally avoid those run-of-the mill dinner-movie dates, that overly relied upon fraternity frolicking, that "Let's go back to my room and listen to some Enya" strategy or that cheesy "Would you like to go for a long walk in below-zero degree weather?" line.
Heck, you only live once. I dare you to approach this mere mortal whose gastrointestinal problems are no less complicated than yours and ask him to go cliff diving, parachuting or skydiving. Even if you're not a DOC junkie, you can probably convince Mr. Virility that he should take advantage of life's numerous challenges and join you for a late afternoon dual-bungee jump, an early evening skydive or a midnight cliff dive. Although I can't guarantee that he will automatically answer in the affirmative, I can recommend that you mention that nobody has ever rejected your exhilarating offer: "Heck, if James O. can do it, why can't you?"
Once you've convinced Mr. Right of the feasibility of the plan, you should be prepared to close in for the kill with your well-oiled psychological scheme. Whatever activity you end up choosing, be it skydiving, bungee jumping or keg hurdling, you definitely want to downplay the impact it has on your physical/emotional state. In addition, you must ensure that before you do any of the activities as a pair, you first demonstrate with great poise how to properly participate in the "lighthearted" activity.
After months of practice, you probably can skydive without greatly increasing your heart rate or even breaking a sweat. If not, just wipe down thoroughly and buy a fake heart monitoring device that will prove to your male counterpart that even a novice like yourself is largely unaffected by a simple skydive. Why not let him check your vital signs just to make sure?
Once you've convinced him of the harmlessness of the task, prepare to take the plunge with Mr. Right. Without hesitation, I want you to tightly grab his hands and stare deeply into his eyes as you are tumbling hundreds of miles an hour toward the girdled earth below.
Following the strict guidelines of "Home Improvement's" Tool Time Tim, your dream guy will never admit to himself or to you that he is aroused by skydiving. If you barely broke a sweat, he surely wouldn't admit that he was physically or emotionally jolted by the plunge.
But then how can he possibly explain his pulsating pupils, his sweat-covered brow, his deafening heart palpitations, his trembling fingers and toes, his immense physical and emotional arousal.
You got it. You are the one and only cause of his aroused state. He slowly unstraps his backpack and stares into your deep brown eyes. Unable to mutter a word, he stands motionless, overtaken by your immense natural beauty. How could he have not realized that all along you were the woman of his dreams? You, whose name he hadn't known for the first eight weeks of the term despite living down the hall and being in all three of your classes, were now his Juliet. You were the woman to whom he would pledge his eternal love.
Now maybe those non-believers may come to realize that psychology students don't merely study sexual repression, shock therapy, penis envy and manic depression. You see, our empirical science is grounded in the development of testable theories -- theories that can explain why, for instance, Lyle Lovett took Julia Roberts bungee jumping on their first date.
