By the Gallon
When I returned home for spring break and began driving again I finally noticed those vaunted high gas prices--and to be honest they didn't bother or surprise me in the least.
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When I returned home for spring break and began driving again I finally noticed those vaunted high gas prices--and to be honest they didn't bother or surprise me in the least.
I for one am quite excited about the upcoming ORL room application season. Or at least I was until I got my housing number, which is 1918, and the '01s start at 1100. Where's the justice there? This was supposed to be the year when all we '01s finally got the mythical Mass Row single, but damn it all, I'm probably going to be living in the River again.
I am not sure how many of you regularly read the Valley News (motto: "Inexplicably the Same Price as USA Today but no 64-Color Full Page Weather Map!") but if not, you missed a real treat in the Sunday edition: an interview entitled "2 Million Mile Man Teaching Trucking Safety."
The Education department is once again under attack. Whatever arguments may be used to dismantle the department, the issue ultimately boils down to one prejudice held by many on this campus, including members of the administration: teaching is not a worthy application of a Dartmouth education.
All of us here at the Nation's Oldest College Newspaper are greatly disappointed in you, Dartmouth students! Quite to our annoyance, all the hoopla surrounding the Student Life Initiative has already begun to die down! How many big stories do you think we are going to get this year, people?
Man, I'm glad the weather has cooled off these last couple of days. It's been pretty tough around here this summer without the air conditioning that you can find in any Denny's but, inscrutably, not in one of the finest colleges in the US.
For those of you who don't pay attention to the news (i.e. for all of you including me), on Friday the Senate passed a 10-year, $792 billion tax cut, the largest in history. Republican leaders say the cut is justified, in light of a projected budget surplus of $3 trillion over the coming decade. President Clinton, meanwhile, has promised a veto, saying the cut is too steep and threatens domestic program and budget reduction priorities.
Sometimes a news item (ok, in this case, a cheesy forward) will come along that will make us D newshound columnists sit bolt upright and say, "Damn, I haven't written a column in a long time, and I have absolutely nothing to write about! Guess this forward will do!"
I must say I liked summer term a lot more for the first couple days. It was so nice and quiet here, and there was no one in Food Court ever. Then the campers arrived.
My younger sister, Emmy, is starting school next year at Williams, putting Ma and Pa Valet in the somewhat unenviable position of paying for two kids at rather expensive schools. This got me thinking about just how big a hunk of cash it takes to go here every year.
Disclaimer: If you haven't seen "The Phantom Menace," you may not want to read this.
I am quite excited for this Green Key celebration thing. Although I am still not clear on exactly what the whole deal is about. Alcohol abuse is a safe guess, I surmise.
Hello, my name is Robert and I am a drug addict. Actually, just kidding. But now that I finished my bio exam in one more or less intact piece, I must say that that Vivarin stuff is bad news. On my honor I swear I am never taking it again, at least until my next exam rolls around.
With another SA election season come and gone, I see you all were about as excited as I was. A whopping 2,198 of us bothered to vote at all, barely more than half the student body. New SA president Dean Krishna was swept into office with an impressive mandate of 727 votes, not even twenty percent of the undergraduate population.
I just wanted to take the opportunity to inform you that I had a most wonderful winter term on the Spanish LSA in Puebla, Mexico, while you all froze in Hanover. I understand it was quite the winter around here. The most inclement our weather got was that it rained a total of two days the entire term. Also, there was a little bit of snow in Mexico, but it was very neatly confined to the tops of the volcanoes where it looks pretty and no one has to trudge about in it.
Maybe some of you, in your TV-watching days before this term began, also saw my favorite commercial of the summer. It was the one for the Mach 3, the very sleek and sexy new shaving device from Gillette. The commercial has this guy taking out his Mach 3 and beginning to shave.
Well, I for one am very excited that former professional wrestler Jesse "The Body" Ventura (who, as of last Wednesday, wishes to be known as "Jesse the Mind") is now the new governor of Minnesota. I am glad that voters in at least one state decided what I have felt for some time: neither of the two standard options is that good, so you may as well vote for someone fun.
Lately it seems we have a lot of freshmen punks around here bent on taking over the world. Well, at least that one kid with his rise of capitalism or whatever. Back in my day (last year), we freshmen didn't spend our time planning massive overhauls of the global socioeconomic order. Between attempting to hook up and locating food, that pretty much rounded out our brain wave activity for the day.
Tomorrow is the Homecoming game, and I hope you all are as excited as I am! Actually, based on my previous football game experiences here, some of us are probably a little too excited. Therefore, I would like to offer some advice for those of us not able to keep our football enthusiasm in our respective pants.
Well, I for one am glad we will all soon be safe from the dangers of the Streeter phantom masturbator. Following the recent decision by Student Assembly (motto: "Deciding everything important in your life, or at least whether the Hop will have two or three blitz computers."), it looks as if all of the residence hall doors will be locked in the near future.