I am not sure how many of you regularly read the Valley News (motto: "Inexplicably the Same Price as USA Today but no 64-Color Full Page Weather Map!") but if not, you missed a real treat in the Sunday edition: an interview entitled "2 Million Mile Man Teaching Trucking Safety."
I will admit, I am not a regular Valley News fan. Prior to Sunday, I had bought it precisely once, mainly out of freshman year curiosity. As I recall, the checkout person at Food Court said she felt bad charging me 50 cents for it. This time, though, I wanted to get a hold of the last Sunday "Peanuts," and no other paper had it.
So with my DBA $1.50 lower (or "one cherry tomato and a slice of cucumber," in DDS salad bar terms), I was picking up the paper to leave when one of the Food Court guys made me let him see that Peanuts strip. I still think I should have charged him 75 cents for it.
I mean, it's not like I was going to read any of the rest of the paper. But for reasons that remain unclear to me, I began perusing the rest of the paper, when my eyes alighted upon the artful photo situated below the fold on page 1B. It depicts Lyle Favreau of Norwich (who is apparently a latter-day William of Normandy type person, who must be identified in the given name-from-place format), who is the aforementioned "2 Million Mile Man" who teaches trucking safety.
Lyle of Norwich is pictured in front of his truck wearing a shirt, tie, and sport coat. I was not aware that the dress code was that strict. Apparently, though, that is one of the responsibilities that comes with being one of 13 members of the American Trucking Association's "America's Road Team." As such, Lyle of Norwich is charged with criss-crossing the nation (well, I guess he would do that anyhow) to promote safe truck driving.
Lyle of Norwich switched to truck driving at age 24, after two years of working nights in a trucking company's loading docks. "Then," he noted "I decided that if God wanted men to work at night, He'd have given us eyes that see in the dark." I am not sure what the implication would be regarding his feelings about men who pee sitting down.
At any rate, having switched from loading to trucking, Lyle of Norwich "...has to maneuver an 80,000-pound piece of equipment all over the country," the Valley News observes. Guess someone doesn't pee sitting down.
Lyle of Norwich's ambassadorial duties to promote safe truck driving include meeting with anyone who wants to know more about safe trucking. "Drivers today," he declares, "do not know what a truck is." Lyle of Norwich's mission is to teach us just this. Likewise, my mission is to pass along this information, particularly since I can't think of anything else to write about.
One of the things we apparently do not know regarding what trucks are is that they have a 41-foot wheelbase. As Lyle of Norwich explains it, "I have 41 feet of just wheelbase out there...so please give me a break...I have no other way to physically get this 80,000-pound equipment around this corner...please, back off." So be warned, kids. Don't screw with Lyle when he is busy positioning that "big piece of 80,000 pound equipment."
"If I get this word out," Lyle concludes, "maybe people will give me a little more room." His equipment weighs 80,000 pounds, kids! Give the man space to work.
