Song Parody: Mr. Weak Side

By Lucy Tantum | 10/5/16 1:59pm

“Mr. Brightside” is unquestionably the best song to shout-sing in fraternity basements, the Russell Sage rage cage (#rip) or pretty much anywhere else. Dartbeat decided to see what happened if we combined Dartmouth’s favorite 2004 chart-topper with Dartmouth’s favorite pastime. Pop Punk 16F, here we come.

I’m coming out of Russell Sage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta play pong
I need to win it all

It started out with a flitz
How did it end up like this?
It was only a flitz
It was only a flitz

Now I’m up next in line
And we’re starting a game
And we’re telling a joke
And I practice my aim

Now we’re partnering up
And my stomach is sick
And it’s half-cup half-cup

And they’re baring their chests now
I’m under duress now
Let me win

And I just can’t sink it’s killing me
Got no ball control

Helplessly, I’m gonna get golden tree-ed
Got frat juice up to my thighs
Choking on my Keystone Light

But it’s just the price I pay
Masters tourney calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m on the weak side


Lucy Tantum