Texts From Last Night: Winter Carnival Edition

By Tarika Narain | 2/15/16 8:13am

Technology is a wonderful thing. So is alcohol. And when you put the two together, you get the often disastrous (but always hilarious) product that is drunk texting. This Winter Carnival, there may not have been Tackiez, Lingerie or Champagne, but that didn’t stop us from sending incoherent texts to our friends, family, exes and crushes. So while you’re sitting in Baker nursing a hangover or cramming the midterm paper you forgot about, take a break and read Dartbeat’s very own TFLN: Winter Carnival Edition:

(803): Do u guys ever take off your coat in class and then worry that one day you’ll forget what you’re doing and take off your pants

(732): If he actually cares about Nutella, I may have ruined everything

(347): I gave up pastries for Lent but KAF is giving out sugar cookies for free
(551): Maybe if I give up dick for Lent KAF will start giving that out for free

(781): Ladies be careful!!!! S&S does not condone condom throwing in LNC!

(415): I’m a clitoris

(310): Also what does it mean if someone complimented me on Friendsy and wrote “my spirit animal”
(310): I don’t think a person can be a spirit animal
(310): Also like no one wants to hook up with their spirit animals

(617): Ok so you want me to meet you with a j? #blastoff

(413): you know Mom named you after her favorite soap opera character?...explains a lot doesn’t it

(603): aww you two are so cute together!
(617): thanks!!!
(617): that’s my dad though

(518): do not ever refer to yourself as a “regular” at any fraternity ever again go read a book you’re better than this

(713): is it weird to name my bong Jim Bong Duggar

(609): Yo when we were high together and some guy came in and asked if I was sleeping, [NAME REDACTED] said no she’s just Asian

(732): I feel like an alcoholic. But like, fancy

(207): How is me mooning Webster Ave not the craziest thing to happen to us tonight

(216): I gave up craft beer for Lent…it’s like giving up dark chocolate instead of chocolate in general. A huge religious loophole.

(603): I am earteh easy individual what A Esse

(603): I dated a furry once. But like not on purpose.

(781): how was the end of last night?
(681): lol I think you mean the beginning of this morning. I was out until 6:15

Text messages courtesy of The Dartmouth Web Staff.

Tarika Narain