The Definitive Ranking of PB’s Green Key Concert Options
Hello. It’s me, someone completely unqualified to offer my musical opinion, about to weigh in passionately! My tastes are the only ones that matter, because I am the foremost authority and everything that you listen to or that I haven’t heard is swill.
Here are some other things I might do:
- Berate anyone with musical preferences different from mine
- Complain that my favorite artist isn’t on the list of options
- Look up the price range of my favorite artist and post it on Yik Yak
- Complain about Programming Board
- Imply that I would join Programming Board and straighten everything out, if only I had the time
- Lament the fact that Green Key concerts are “always lame”
- Suggest that we completely rearrange the budget (which I don’t understand) in order to have a more expensive concert that better caters to me personally
- Firmly believe that maliciousness and fun-hatred on the behalf of Programming Board is the sole reason we cannot have Adele
- Compare our spring concert to that of a much larger school
- Complain about Hanover
- Try to gloss over the fact that everyone is going to be drunk at this concert and not care, as well as the fact that I once tried to see how many people in the concert crowd I could bite without them noticing
1. The Mowglis
The Jungle Book
2. Elle King
3. X Ambassadors
4. BØRNS
5. Matt + Kim
6. Cash Cash
7. Alessia Cara
8. Hoodie Allen
th