How to Lose Your Parents This Weekend
We all love our parents, but after a full weekend with them, who doesn’t want a little bit time alone? Luckily, we have a handy list of ways to ditch your parents and get some time to yourself.
Fake having a midterm: Say it’s a Saturday afternoon and you just want to take a quick nap or play a quick game of pong. Tell your parents that you have an “astro midterm” on Monday that you really need to study for. If your parents are anything like mine, they will insist that you go study, just as long as you meet them at the preapproved dinner time. Swing by the library for some KAF or to say hi to your friends who actually are doing work and then go do whatever you wanted to do.
Suggest that your parents go on a hike: Thanks to all the rain, the weather is going to be pretty nice this weekend. Mention all the trails around campus and the great family photo opportunities. Then, “forget” your tennis shoes or “twist” your ankle. If your parents insist on staying behind with you, tell them it’s fine, and you’ve gone to the fire tower plenty of times before.
Suggest dinner at the Lodge: After all, going to Moosilauke is a classic part of the Dartmouth experience, and I doubt your parents would want to skip out on that. Plus, dinner there is a lot cheaper than most of the restaurants in town and is pretty good. Just remember to leave out the fact that it’s an hour away and that, if you get lost, it can be hard to find your way back, thanks to the lack of phone service.
Suggest a movie night: The Nugget is currently showing E.T. as part of their family film festival. Remind your parents about how that was definitely one of their favorite films when they were in college and how great it’d be to reconnect with that nostalgia. If they want you to come along, say that you still haven’t forgiven Steven Spielberg for the fourth Indiana Jones movie or that aliens freak you out. Alternatively, if aliens aren’t your parents’ thing, the Hop is showing a film about the Large Hadron Collider.
Plan a tour of the Hood: Say that the art there is so cool (even though you’ve never actually been in the Hood). When your parents suggest that you go with them, say that you’ve been there hundreds of times for class. Mention that non-existent midterm if they press.
Have them visit the Shaker Museum: Mention all the positive press coverage The Dartmouth has given it lately. It’s far enough away that you’ll probably have at least an hour or so to yourself.
Just tell them you need some time alone: You’re an adult, and they should respect that sometimes you need to be alone. If worse comes to worse, promise that you’ll get gelato with them after dinner. Gelato makes everyone happy.