"Make new friends, but keep the old." The last time you heard that phrase was likely in elementary school. Yet as pledge term continues for many sophomores, this puerile message is as important as ever. Amidst the excitement and novelty of affiliation, new members of Greek organizations need to make a concerted effort to keep up with already established relationships. As tempting as it is to place all our focus on befriending all our new sisters and brothers, we newly affiliated sophomores should put just as much, if not more, energy into maintaining old friendships as fostering new friendships.
When I first noticed this term that I was no longer seeing friends with whom just last year I'd spend time frequently, I initially put it down to the start of a new year. Rescheduling plans over and over just to inevitably cancel every time, and not making plans in the first place because of lack of free time these are normal at the beginning of the school year. But after giving it some thought, I realized they really began with rush. We all thought that once that week was over, we would have time to do what we wanted again. But pledging appears to have made the problem worse. Some of it is self-imposed, with students voluntarily spending all their time with fellow pledges. Some of it is "required," with a few houses hindering new members' outside contact by forcing them to spend time together or discouraging communication with other friends. Either way, as I can almost tangibly feel my relationships with once close friends slipping away, I realize that the fault for this problem belongs with us all pledges, houses and unaffiliated students alike.
As much as I agree that bonding with a house is important in the weeks after receiving a bid, some fraternities and sororities need to recognize that they may be requiring too much of their pledges' time. Usually, it is considered acceptable for a pledge to skip out on activities for academic reasons. But perhaps houses should also be tolerable of those who would choose to miss an event to maintain other friendships. We pride ourselves on an inclusionary Greek system, but during pledge term it can seem exclusionary and even isolationist.
Pledges share responsibility as well. We not only need to put in effort, but need to be cognizant of this phenomenon in the first place. It shouldn't be considered acceptable to overlook other relationships in favor of pursuing new ones in a house. It shouldn't be considered appropriate or normal to blow off friends we were once so close with to spend time with others. What happens during the next few terms when differing D-plans means months of not being on campus at the same time as old friends? The next guaranteed time to see them is sophomore summer. Perhaps that is why that term, from what I have heard, seems to be so house-centric. To avoid this, pledges need to put particular work into keeping up relationships with their peers both in other houses and those who remain unaffiliated.
Unaffiliated students have a part to play in this all, too. First and this should be obvious, but unfortunately is not affiliated students still want to be friends with those who are not affiliated. At times it may seem like that is not the case, but for most students in Greek organizations, it is. Unaffiliated peers, I know it may make you uncomfortable being around affiliated people, especially if your unaffiliated status is not entirely by choice, but most of us are capable of not talking about it in front of you. Admittedly, some affiliated students do not make enough of an effort to keep in touch with unaffiliated peers because they think they might offend them or annoy them with talk of Greek life. Just as students in houses should reach out, unaffiliated students shouldn't be afraid to take that first step of blitzing to make plans.
The beauty of the fault residing with so many is that the burden of preventing this lies on the shoulders of us all as well. In the end, it is important to embrace Greek life, but we need to be careful not to close ourselves off into the individual bubble of each house.
